The Unexpected
by A White Demon Love Story
Summary: Starts off set in season 2 when Derek chooses Addison over Meredith. Meredith does what she does best and runs away. But is there something she can't run from? Will Derek change his mind and choose Meredith when he finds out? Will he find out? What will Meredith do when her life unexpectedly takes a new turn for the worst?Alone, dark and twisty, how will she cope?
1. Life In shatters

**The Unexpected**

**Hey, MerDer shippers. This is my first attempt at writing and uploading one of the many ideas I have bombarding in my bizarre imagination. This Fan-Fiction could have travelled in many different directions, but I choose the one that I thought would be the most interesting **** I hope this story line hasn't been done to many times. I know there is a lot of MerDer pregnant fan fics out there; I hope you enjoy reading this one as you have with others. To fully understand this fic, I recommend that you have watched at ****least**** the first 2 seasons of Grey's Anatomy and have depth knowledge of the characters in the show. Now enough with my blabbing, and onto the point. This fic takes and starts off from where Derek and Meredith are in the scrub room. Where Meredith's asks if Derek is choosing Addison and he agrees. Meredith does what she does best and runs away. But is there something she can't run from? Will Derek change his mind and choose Meredith when he finds out? Will he find out? What will Meredith do when her life unexpectedly takes a new turn for the worst? Alone, dark and twisty, how will she cope?**

**All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Greys anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them. **

**Rated T/M**

**Chapter 1: Life In Shatters**

**Meredith POV**

"_Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then - one day - you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralysed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then - one day - you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe." Leary, Denis_

That's exactly how I felt at this very moment. I could only dream of being hit by a bus. Just to have all the pain disappear. To be consumed by complete darkness. To feel numb. To feel nothing at all! But I wasn't that lucky.

I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't stare in ocean blue eyes anymore, just waiting for him to suddenly change him mind and pick me, choose me, love me. But he didn't. I wasn't his wife. I was just a midlife crisis. Just a dirty mistress. I was nothing.

Before he could say anything or apologise. I threw my scrub cap onto the ground and ran. I just kept running. I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was like all the oxygen in the world had just been consumed. I was chasing after air. The further I got away from him the less I could breathe. I needed him. I needed Mc Dreamy. He was my oxygen. Without him I was a fish out of water. Just lying on the surface trying to breathe. Dying.

I ran into the nearest supply closet and just sunk down onto the floor. The tears ran like a waterfall down my face. How could one person do so much damage to me. I just lay there on the ground next to the mop and bucket. I curled myself into a ball placing one arm around my legs and another touching what use to be my heart, but was now just a huge hole ripping through my chest. I slowly drifted off into complete darkness.

Hours or days could have past and I wouldn't have notice. My eyes began to hurt when I stated to open them. My bones ached as I slowly stood up. I quickly wiped my face with my scrubs and inhaled a deep breath before opening the door. It was light outside. I looked at my watch it 2.30pm. I was out for a long time. 6 hours. I seemed to be sleeping a lot lately. A new recuing habit it seemed. I headed towards the bathroom to fix myself up. Lucky I did. My eyes were bright red and puffy. My skin white as a ghost except for my rosy cheeks. My hair was a mattered mess. I splashed some water on my face and fixed my hair. I looked as I was described, dark and twisty. My pager suddenly vibrated it was a '911' "Great" I muttered to myself. I took another deep breath and headed towards Trauma room 4. It was going to be a long shift.

Fourteen hours and 3 surgeries later, I collapsed onto my bed. I breathed out a sigh and turned to get some much needed sleep. I was almost out when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Hey Mer its Izzie, are you okay? Cristina told us about Mc Ass" I really wasn't in the mood for any of this. "I'm fine" I lied. "really she asked hiding behind my door. "I'm just really tired Izzie" I spoke at least that was true. "Okay…. I'm here if you need to talk?" she said unsure of what to do. "I know" I said closing my eyes and began to fall asleep again.

A sudden twinge of pain struck my abdomen and I quickly rushed towards the bathroom nocking George out of the way. I vomited violently, getting rid of all the contents of my stomach. Why did this have to happen to me right now? Life really does suck! "Mer are you feeling okay?" George asked brushing his teeth outside the bathroom door. "It's just the stupid Chicken I ate last night. It didn't agree with me" I said quickly before vomiting again. "Food Poising?" Izzie asked questing George outside. "I'm Just fine" I said getting up and drinking a glass of water. I opened the door to have them booth starting right at me. "You are drooling toothpaste onto my carpet George" I said. "Oh" he responded as he went back into the bathroom to take a shower. "What?" I asked Izzie angry. "Nothing" she said in a disbelieving way and headed back to her room. "Why can't people just leave me alone" I whispered. "Stupid chicken" I muttered to myself while making coffee. The nausea passed as quickly as it came. My stomach now started to growl. "Where is the stupid peanut butter" I asked out loud angrily. "Here" George said placing the jar in my hands. "I'm making some toast if you want some?" Izzie asked coming into the kitchen. "I'm good" I said grabbing a spoon and started eating the peanut butter out of the jar. "What?" I asked as they both stared at me with shocked expressions. "Nothing" they said in sync. I grabbed my coffee and my jar of peanut butter and headed to work noticing that Izzie was gossiping to George about something. But I really didn't care. My biggest worry was facing Derek at work.

"Yang you're with Burke" Bailey said in her normal not so happy mood. "Stevens, pit" Izzie let out a sigh. "O'Malley, Dr Shepherd" At least I wasn't on his service that was a relief. "karev, Torres" "Grey You're with other Shepherd" "What" I said in shock. "Montgomery-Shephard" she said angrily. I just nodded. I couldn't believe this! The world is so screwed up! As the others headed off I stayed for a while to catch a few breaths. My pager suddenly went off. It was her. Satan herself paging me. "Great" I whispered to myself.

As I walked outside the locker room I saw them. Together. Happy. Derek giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. He was smiling. Addison was laughing about something he said and playfully slapped him arm. The looked like a happily married couple, well… that was because they were. The hole in my chest grew bigger.

"Dr Grey" Addison said approaching me with a big warm smile. She was rubbing it in my face. Derek walked off without even a word or a glance in my direction. I didn't know how much longer I could put up with this.

"Yes" I whispered. "Here is the patient's chart, follow me" she said walking into room 204. "Dr Grey" she said. "Megan Gibbs, aged 34, pregnant with conjoined twins" I said with little emotion. I was turning into Christina. "Looks like those babies are coming out today" Addison said rubbing the pregnant patient's belly. "Will they be okay?" she asked. "There isn't much holding these two guys together, I've done this surgery many times before, and I'll look after the little guys" Addison said smiling at Megan. "Thank you" Megan said returning the smile.

"Get her prepped for surgery Dr Grey" Addison said before leaving the room.

Throughout the surgery I imagined how many ways I could possible kill Addison rather than focusing on the actual surgery. 'What's wrong with me' I thought to myself. My emotions were all over the place lately. I was about to leave to scrub room when Addison stoped me and I knew it wasn't professional when she said "Meredith" looking right at me. "Yes" I replied. "Derek and I are heading back up to New York tomorrow, Its been a pleasure working with you" she said smiling about to walk out the door when I stopped her. "A pleasure! A pleasure a fricken Pleasure! Its been hell! I was happy, finally happy until you showed up!" "He's my husband Meredith" she said looking a little angry. "For the last 5 hours I've been picturing you getting hit by a bus! I'm not that kind of person" I shouted. "I understand" she said. "No you don't! You cheated and you got my Mc Dreamy! I did nothing wrong, but fall in love, and what did I get, nothing! Just a giant hole in my chest! You don't know anything! " I screamed at her. I rejected it as soon as I said it.

"You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will meet someone else who isn't my husband!" And with that she stormed out of the scrub room.


	2. Alone in a cloud of darkness

**Here is chapter 2. I hope you guys enjoyed the 1****st**** chapter enough to continue reading. This chapter is going to be interesting. **

**All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Song ~ To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

**Chapter 2: **Alone in a cloud of Darkness

Reality had finally sunken in. Addison was right. As much as I hated it, she was right. I had to move on. As much as it hurt I had to try.

I walked towards the nurse station where I caught up with Cristina. "He's an ass. You don't need him. You can do better" she spoke while eating a chocolate chip cookie. "I know" I said sighing. "Think of it this way, you have more time to become the surgeon god you were born to be" she said smiling at me. "No hugging" I said. "No hugging" she replied smiling. "Yes a 911" she said before running off. Her enthusiasm made me laugh. For a split second my mind was off him, just for a split second! Then he comes up to the nurse station. 'Please just walk away' I tried to tell myself. He stared in my direction and smiled his big Mc Dreamy smile. 'Oh God' why did he have to do that!

"Hey" he said as he walked up to me. I ignored him and just stared at my chart filling out some paper work. "So you're ignoring me?" he asked

"yep!" I said I a sarcastic tone.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why?" I said angrily.

"You choose her, after what she did to you, what did I do to deserve this?" I asked.

"I'm sorry." He said looking sad.

"Don't say that! You don't get to be sorry!" I was extremely mad now!

"I'm leaving." He said pouting while staring into my eyes.

"I know" I said trying to hold back the tears, remembering I was still angry.

"I want you to get on with your life, I deserve to give you that much." He said sounding depressed.

"Yes" I said crossing my arms.

"Without any interferences or complications from me, you deserve a fresh start Meredith. You deserve better" he said placing his hands in his pockets.

"I do" I said looking into his deep blue ocean eyes. My eyes travelled down to his lips. Oh how I just wanted to kiss them so much. To feel the warm moisture and inhale his scent. I wanted that so badly. It took everything I had not to pull his chest against mine. Everything!

"I guess this is goodbye" he said not taking any eye contact off me.

"I guess it is" I said. He was doing the right thing I told myself over and over again.

"Goodbye Meredith Grey" he said placing his muscular hand on my shoulder.

My body quivered with the sensation of his touching mine. If felt so right.

"Goodbye Derek" I said not wanting this moment to end. But it did.

"Ready" Addison said coming up behind Derek and placing her hand in his.

"Ready he said not taking his eyes off me"

I watched as they walked out of the hospital together. It was toucher. I was never going to see Derek again. My Mc dreamy was gone forever and it hurt.

"Meredith wake up" Izzie said outside my bedroom door.

"No" I said.

"That's it I'm going in" Izzie said to George.

"It won't work" George said heading down stairs.

"Mer?" izzie said kneeling on the floor next to my bed.

"I can't" I said.

"I know" she said giving an awkward smile.

"We have to work we are doctors" Izzie said.

"We save lives" George said screaming for down stairs.

"I don't feel well" I said which was true I felt nauseous.

"Have some toast and some vitamins?" she said.

"Peanut Butter" I fought back.

"Okay" she said as I reluctantly agreed to go to work.

An hour and a whole jar of peanut butter later we arrived at the hospital.

"Hey izzie, have you noticed that Mer is acting differently?" George asked Izzie.

"Mc Dreamy broke up with her George" Izzie said bluntly.

"I mean she's acting different, her emotions are all over the place and the peanut butter obsession is starting to freak me out a little. Where does she put it all!"

"George she's going through a tough breakup. Just let her deal with it in her own way. If that means eating jars of peanut butter to make it through the day then let her eat as many jars of peanut butter as she wants" izzie said. Knowing that George was right. Something wasn't right. She would have to talk to Christina later.

I could hear George and Izzie gossiping about me again. Why couldn't I just crawl into a hole and die already!

The day passed by quicker than I expected. I had two major trauma surgeries to take my mind off things. I couldn't help but look trying to find him but I already knew he was gone.

The day started to slow down. Both of my patients were stable. Cristina was stuck in surgery and George and Izzie were up in the gallery. I Didn't feel like joining them. I was tired and wasn't in the mood. I walked into the closest on call room and fell onto the bed drifting out in seconds.

"Mer" "Mer" "MER" Cristina shouted before hitting me with a pillow. "What!" I bit back waking up. "wow someone's grouchy" she said giggling. "im sleeping go away" I said hiding my head in the pillow. "You have been asleep for seven hours Mer!" Cristina spoke hitting me again with the pillow. "What? Really?" I asked shocked. "Don't worry no one is dead. Yet" she said lying down next to me. "Mer are… you okay" she asked concerned. Looks like Izzie had talked to her. "Just dark and twisty" I replied. She nodded and I feel back asleep.

2 Weeks later….

"Burke is acting weird, all happy and stuff. It's Freaky. Unnatural" Cristina said but I could barely concentrate knowing that I was going to vomit any minute.

"Mer you don't look too well" that was the last thing I heard before vomiting in the bin at the nurses' station.

"I'm fine it's just the flu" I responded. At least I thought it was.

"Do u need to go home?" she asked.

"Nope I'll be fine it was pass. It always does" I said. Cristina was a little shocked at my answer.

"Mer how long has this been happening. The vomiting I mean?"

"About a week or so?" I answered. With that she grabbed my arm and dragged me into the closest exam room.

"Ow my arm" I sad as she locked the door.

"It's not the flu is it?" she asked.

"I don't know what else it could be?" she was starting to confuse me.

"How late are you?" she asked.

"What?"

"Mer how late are you?" she said again shouting.

"Oh God!" I said

"yeah" she nodded back

"OH MY GOD!" I said in complete shock. There was no way I could be pregnant. The last person I had sex was with Derek and that was 3 months ago. And I had my period…. OVER 3 months ago! Oh shit how I not noticed this! Omg!

"Mer" Cristina was shaking me now.

"3 Months Cristina. It was over 3 months ago! 3 Months ago Mc Dreamy and I had sex!"

"Oh god' she said

"Yeah" I nodded back frightened.

"The mood swings, the sleeping, the Peanut butter thing. It makes perfect sense now Mer" she said throwing her hands in the air.

"Shit" I said falling to the ground. Tears began to fall down my face.

"What am I going to do Cristina?" I asked in-between sobs.

"We will get you an ultrasound first and run some tests, and then we will take it from there okay" she said grabbing me and walking me outside.

"Okay" I said turning to her.

**Stay tuned for chapter 3 ! its going to a good one! Thanks for all your reviews**** it builds up my convince and makes me write faster xxx How do u think Derek should find out? Now of in a few years? Hummm im thinking? What do you guys what to see happen?**


	3. A world full of Possibilities

**Here is Chapter 3 **** thanks for all your positive feedback! I hope you enjoy chapter 3. Remember to keep reviewing. Have any ideas don't be afraid to tell me them **** I still Haven't decided when and if Meredith will tell Derek just yet. Thanks again and enjoy **

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Song – Where I stood by Missy Higgins

Chapter 3 – A world full of Possibilities

"Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning."

― Mahatma Gandhi

"Ow" I said as Christina poked the needle through my vain.

"You're a surgeon and you're afraid of needles?" Cristina said pulling the needle out after my blood test.

"Maybe" I said in a smug response.

"I'll run this to the lab" Cristina said leaving me to wait alone, pondering in my thoughts. I couldn't think straight. My mind was becoming a jigsaw puzzle. I couldn't do this. I can't be mom. I don't know how? I'm too dark and twisty. Too broken. I'm all alone. Look at who I had for a mother. What if I'm just like her? I don't want my kid turning out just as screwed up as I am. I have severe abandonment issues! Do I really want to bring a child into this world with that!

"Mer" Cristina said as she entered the room holding the results to her clipboard. I knew answer. I didn't need to see the results, her face said it all.

"I'm Pregnant aren't i?" I said looking directly at her.

"Yes" she said handing me the results. She looked sorry for me.

It was right in front of me. My whole body sunk with fear. Tears began to fall down my face. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Before I knew it I was heading into full blast panic attack.

"Mer, Breathe" Christina said grabbing my shoulders and holding me still.

"I can't" I said sobbing. My hands were on my knees as I bent over trying to breathe. This couldn't be happening. To me, out of all people, me! Freaken me!

"Lay down on the chair Mer" She said motioning the direction of the surgical chair.

"No" I said folding my arms against my chest.

"Move" she said grabbing my arm.

"What? No" I said pushing against her.

"Don't make me strap you to the chair Mer!" She said seriously.

"Fine!" I finally agreed sitting comfortably on the chair. Might as well get this over and done with.

"Ohhh that's cold" I said staring at her as she put gel on my stomach.

"Sorry" she said sarcastically.

"You've done this before, right?" I asked wondering if she knew what the hell she was doing.

"All the time" she smiled. I knew she was lying.

"Look there" she pointed to the ultrasound screen.

"Oh my god!" I said shocked.

"Yep" she said moving the ultrasound stick around.

I began to cry again.

"Look, there are its feet and its tiny hands. Oh look, ha, its heads a little too big" Cristina said looking at the foetus.

"Its heads perfect" I snapped back at her.

"Wait…yep. There's its heart beat" Suddenly the room was filled with a fluttering beating heart. I've never experienced anything like this before. Nothing else at this moment mattered, except this. This is what mattered.

"Around about 13 weeks I'd say" she said pointing to the foetus.

"It's healthy" she said noticing my nerves.

"Good" I said nodding my head.

"Do…you want… to talk...Options" she asked, Looking a little scared.

"Nope" I said without realising what escaped my mouth.

"Darn it! Bailey is paging me" she stomping her foot in frustration.

"I'm Fine. You go" I told her wiping the gel off my stomach.

"You sure?" she asked again.

"Positive" I replied nodded.

I watched her race out the door. She was lucky to have her mind so focused. She was going to be a great surgeon while I was suck being the slutty intern who got knocked up by a married attending. I was a home wreaker. I'm a whore. I was a bad person. I couldn't raise a child. I couldn't be a single mother. Could I?

I tried not to think about it. I was pregnant. I was just going to take it day by day and see what happens. I was going to try.

_Next morning._

The stupid birds outside my window wouldn't shut the hell up. They were singing at 6am they were singing. On my day off today they decided to sing. I was so tired and too hormonal for this!

"Shut Up" I yelled throwing a pillow at the window.

"What the hell Meredith" Izzie said walking into my room.

"I'm trying to sleep" I said throwing my face into my pillow.

"Its 12pm" she said turning on the light.

"Seriously?" I asked. Surly it wasn't that late. Was it?

"Seriously" she replied walking out of my room.

I was still tired as I tried to manage my way out of bed. I was suddenly starving. Throwing my Dartmouth T-shirt over my head and putting some old tracks on, I started heading down stairs. Mmmmm I could smell the taste of bacon. Yummy!

"Hey Mer" George said surving up some bacon.

"Can I have some?" I asked.

"Sure" he said placing some on a plate for me.

"Mer…What are you doing?" he asked as I grabbed a jar of peanut butter from the pantry, which stored 5 jars already.

"Having it with my bacon" I said as I was spreading some peanut butter onto my bacon.

"How? What? Why?" he asked so confused.

"It tastes good" I said as I was eating.

"Hey George" Izzie asked steeping into the kitchen.

"Yeah" he replied taking a bite of bacon.

"I was just…" she stared to say before staring directly at me. "Mer…Seriously what the hell" she said taken by surprise.

"I'm hungry" I muttered back.

"Peanut butter on bacon?" she asked confused.

"That what I said" George responded.

I stared right at George giving him the evil eye.

"Umm…so… Izzie what did you want?" George Asked moving off topic.

"Tampons" Izzie said.

George almost chocked on his bacon.

"It was your week to buy food George" She said placing her hands on her hips.

"Yes, FOOD!" George spat out.

"For goodness sake George! It's just Tampons!" Izzie yelled!

"I'm not your sister" George said yelling.

"Fine!" Izzie said folding her arms.

"Mer?" she asked turning to face me.

"Here" I said throwing the tampons that were in my bag. I returned eating my peanut butter with a spoon since I ate all my bacon.

"These are the same ones I brought like a month or so ago" she said confused. "they are still in the plastic wrapping" She said looking at me.

"I didn't use them" I said knowing that was a bad choice of words.

"What?" she asked me looking very shocked.

"You didn't have your period last month?" she asked holding the tampons in the air.

"Well…" I couldn't think of anything! She put me right on the spot.

"She didn't buy any the month before" George said cleaning the dishes.

We both gave him a blank expression.

"George!" We booth yelled.

"I have to stop hanging with chicks" he commented before heading up stairs to take a shower.

"Wait! I don't understand! If you didn't have your period...that means…but you can't be. Can you?" She looked shocked scared and angry.

I didn't know what to say. I just nodded. The truth was going to come out anyways.

"Meredith Grey" her face beamed up like a light bulb. Her expression went from horror to excitement. Before I knew it, she had jumped onto me and hug me for dear life.

"OMG! WOW!" she said hugging me tighter.

"Izzie" I said patting her on the back.

"Yeah" she replied.

"Can't breathe" I whispered.

"Oh. Sorry" she said jumping off me.

I steeped backed and smiled.

"Mc Dreamy?" she asked a little afraid.

I just nodded. She saw how scared I was in my eyes.

"How far" she said dropping her smile. She was afraid for me now.

"About 13 weeks" I responded playing with the jar of peanut butter that I had finished.

"Oh" she said a little shocked.

"Just over 3 months." I said looking at her.

"Anything you need I'm here" she said hugging me again.

"I know" I said smiling at here.

"Are you going to tell Derek?" she asked.

"I don't know?" I said fighting back the tears.

"It's Okay" she smiled. "6 more months' right?" she asked.

"Right" I said nodding.

"I believe you can do this Mer" she said grabbing a glass of water.

"I hope so" I said sighing.

**Well there you have it chapter 3 :D hope you enjoyed. Remember to keep reviewing telling me what you think and if you have any ideas for the next few chapters. Currently writing chapter 4 so that will be posted in a few days:D thanks for everything. Much love xoxo**


	4. Judgement Time

**Here is Chapter 4 **** I have received a negative comment regarding that this isn't a MerDer fanfiction, well it is! You will just have to give it time. I've only written 3 previous chapters and I need to build up a storyline. Good things come to those who wait. There will be a lot of MerDer in the future. If you have any negative feedbacks please don't send me it. If you don't like this fanfic then simply don't continue reading it. For all of those who are enjoying it and are sending me positive feedback I LOVE YOU! Without your positive feedback this wouldn't be possible.**

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

**Song – Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick**

**Chapter 4 – Judgement Time**

The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.-Meredith Grey

"Stupid pants" I said as I was trying to do up my zipper. "Seriously" I screamed throwing my hands up in the air. My stupid pair of favourite jeans refused to zip up, even the top button kept popping back open. Screw it! I thought to myself as I pulled off my pants and chucked them onto my bed. I was standing in the mirror only in my underwear. "Crap" I whispered as I suddenly took notice of what was right in front of me. I placed my hands urgently on my now slightly swollen belly. That was not there yesterday! What happened to my complete flat abdomen? I turned to my side in the mirror. I was definitely starting to look pregnant. There was a noticeably small bump between my hips. It felt hard. Solid. It was strong. It was getting larger by the minute. Gossip is going to start spreading around the hospital. I would just have to start accepting the truth, and the truth was, I'm pregnant.

It had been a week since I had found out that I was indeed pregnant. 14 weeks pregnant to be exact. Things had already started to change. My mood swings increased and I was caught crying in surgery two days ago. Luckily George covered my back by saying it was just Heyfever. I still recon Bailey is suspicious about that incident. My dietary intakes have increased, and now I'm always hungry. My hours have also been shortened thanks to the chief. I told him I needed more time to take care of my mother. He agreed. That wasn't the reason tho, and I was hoping he wouldn't be furious when he found out.

I have come more emotionally acceptable to the fact that I am now pregnant, and I'm trying to move forward with my life. Now there is the fact that I actually look pregnant, which I'm finding nerve wreaking. My hands were shaking as I placed them across my abdomen. It felt new, but right.

The fact of knowing that I was pregnant made me think of him more. More than I wanted to. So much, I couldn't concentrate anymore.

Today was my day off. I had nothing to do. Well…I did but neither I wanted to do. Both options sounded terrifying. Go visit my mother who would yell at me for how stupid I was for becoming pregnant. Forget about it because of the Alzheimer's, and then yell at me all over again. The other option was to call Derek. To tell him. I just didn't know how. I didn't know if I was afraid to just call him or if I was afraid of the rejection if he chooses Addison again over us. I don't know who I could live with that.

I sat on my bed for hours contemplating and weighing my options. If I told Derek I would be forcing him to choose me over Addison. Would he only love me or choose me because I was carrying his child? I didn't want that. I didn't want him to choose me out of obligation. If I didn't tell him, he could go on living his life. Without any obligations. Without any interferences from the dirty mistress. Free. He and Addison could live a full and happy life. Addison would hate me if Derek left her again. I would be destroying her life, her future. In some way I kind of liked that. God I'm such a horrible person! Inside I knew what I had to do. I hated not growing up with a father. I wasn't about to have my child grow up without one too.

"That's it" I said out loud. I took in a deep breath, got up, and quickly dialled his number before I changed my mind.

I waited as the cell dialled. It went straight to message. Tears began to fall. I just wanted to hear his voice. So I tried again, and again. Until I called for the seventh time with no answer and decided to be braver than I really was. I decided to leave a message.

"Derek…its Meredith. I have something really important to discuss with you. I know you are with Addison and I've accepted that. It's just that…there is something that you need to know. It's highly important. Please call back." And with that I pressed end. At least I tried.

_2 weeks later…_

Still no word from Derek. "He probably got a new phone or number" I said turning to Cristina.

"Or Satan has secretly deleted all of your messages and is holding his phone hostage" she replied.

"You really think?" I asked.

"I hope so" she said.

"I just can't do this alone Cristina" I said holding back the tears and placing my hand protectively around my small baby bump.

"You're not alone Mer" Cristina said placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks" I said smiling at her.

"DR Yang" Bailey yelled from the end of the hallway.

"Post Ups won't do themselves" she said heading towards Bailey or as they call her the Nazi.

I rubbed my hand around my stomach as I decided to try and Call Derek again.

"Derek it's me again. I know that you're probably not listening to these messages but I hope so. We need to talk. I Can't do this alone. Please call back." And with that I hung up the phone.

I noticed some of the nurses staring at me. "What the hell are you looking at!" I yelled at them as I stormed off. Stupid pregnancy hormones. I was so angry right now, and so horney. Darn it!

"Chief" I said as I accidently bumped into him on the stairwell.

"Grey" he said nodding. He eyes suddenly shifted to the hand that was on top of my small but noticeable bump. I suddenly dropped my hand.

"My office now" He yelled.

Great. This was just perfect.

"Sit down" He said as we arrived in his office.

"Okay" I said awkwardly.

"So… I see the rumours are true?" he asked swinging in his office chair.

"What rumours?" I asked playing dumb.

"Oh, you know. Just the rumours about Ellis Grey's daughter being pregnant during her internship. You know that one?"

"Oh" was all I could say.

"Yeah, Oh!" he said getting up from his chair. I was right he would be angry.

"What the hell is going on here Meredith?" He asked slamming his hand down on the table.

"Derek left. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Quite pregnant actually." I said being blunt.

"Oh" he said sitting down on his chair. His face dropped. It no longer showed anger just sorrow.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner Chief. I was just going through a lot" I said trying not to cry.

"Its okay" he said getting up and hugging me.

"Thanks" I said whipping my eyes.

"Have you…?" he tried to ask nervously.

"Told him?" I said. "I've tried. I've left 7 voicemails. He won't return any of my calls"

"Meredith I'm so sorry" was all he could say.

"I have patients" was all I could think of. I had to get out of there fast.

_2 weeks later_

"Half way now" Izzie said hugging me as I was eating my stack of Pancakes.

"Yeah" I said as I got up to wash my dishes.

"Look, you're glowing" she said placing a hand on my belly.

"I'm getting fat!" I replied.

"You're beautiful Mer" she said smiling.

I placed my hand on top of my belly. You could tell for sure I was pregnant. My Belly was starting to get huge and I was only half way.

"Seriously scut" I said to Bailey.

"Just because your hormones are all over the place, does not give you the right to argue with me Grey!" she replied almost yelling.

"Fine" I said crossing my arms.

On my way to the Nurses' station I felt a flutter and my hands suddenly were placed on my abdomen.

"What's wrong" Alex asked steeping out from behind me.

"I think the baby is kicking?" I said with a huge grin on my face. My phone suddenly starting vibrating.

**So guys, what do u think of chapter 4? Kind of a cliff hanger I know. But Chapter five is going to be fantastic. Who do you think is calling Meredith? I'm enjoying writing this fan fiction and now noticing that this will be quite a long fan fiction. Any ideas or questions don't be afraid to ask**** Oh and there will be MerDer coming up soon. xxxx**


	5. Heart of Stone

**Thanks for all of your positive feedback guys! I really appreciate it **** So this chapter was a little hard to write since I'm still making most of it up as I go along. I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter. There will be plenty more to come ****xxx**

**Song- Violet Hill by Coldplay**

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

**Chapter 5: Heart of Stone**

My heart was racing. It felt so unreal. This was one of those blissful moments when I truly felt happy. I suddenly didn't feel so alone anymore. There was always going to be someone in my life. A person who loved me. A person who wasn't going to leave me.

"Mer Your phone!' Alex yelled breaking me away from my thoughts. My hands moved away from the circulating motion they were making around my baby. My baby! I smiled at the thought. "Mer" he yelled again.

"Oh, right" I said quickly snapping back into reality. I fumbled my hands into my lab coat until I found it.

"Meredith Grey speaking" I answered the phone.

"Hello Meredith, it's your mothers nursing home calling. We would like you to come and visit as soon as possible. It's very important."

"Oh" was all I could say. This had taken me by complete surprise. I wished it was that someone else calling.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"She refuses to eat or take her meds, unless you come. She's demanding for you"

"Ummm…why…what do you want me to do?" I replied, not quite sure what to say.

"If you could come down and visit. Just talk to her it would be a great start. We don't want her getting violent again."

"Again? Ummm…sure…fine. I'll be there in an hour." I said not knowing how to respond to this situation. I was dreading it. Just a moment ago I was so happy. It seems like happiness never lasts long.

"Thank you" they said before hanging up.

"You're welcome" I said sarcastically shoving my phone into my pocket.

"I'll cover you" Alex said realising what was going on.

"Thanks" I said giving him a little smile.

"You owe me one" he said before walking off. I nodded.

I stood outside the door, fidgeting with my fingers. I haven't visited my mother in ages. Not that she would have noticed. I was in my casual wear. Navy blue maternity pants that were supposed to look just like normal jeans, I didn't agree. I also wore a puffy white blouse, hopping it would cover my growing baby bump. I was nervous! 'Just Breathe' I told myself opening the front door.

"Welcome Dr Grey" They greeted me.

"Hello" I smiled.

"She's in her room. Be careful." They told me worryingly.

I nodded and headed towards her room. I nocked. I could hear her rushing towards the door. "Meredith?" she said quickly opening the door.

"Yes mom, it's me, Meredith" I said with a smile walking into her room.

"How was school?" she asked as I sat down on the chair besides her bed.

"I'm not in high school anymore mom" I said grabbing her hands in mine.

"Meredith Grey! You did not drop out?" she asked furiously.

"No mom, I graduated. But that was a while ago" I said sitting her back down.

"I don't understand?" she said looking blank and confused.

"I know" I said nodding my head.

"You've got Alzheimer's mom." I said trying to soothe her.

"Don't be stupid Meredith. You're only a teenager" she said getting up and laughing.

"Mom I'm 30 years old" I said looking at her. I had to explain this so many times. It was like reading from a script.

"That's not possible" she said throwing her hands up in the air. She was getting all hysterical.

"Mom I'm 30 years old and I'm an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital" I said pulling her back down to sit down on her bed.

"You need to eat" I told her, but she was still trying to contemplate what I had just said.

"No…NO, NO, NO" she screamed while she started banging on the door.

"Mom I'm here" I said coming up to hug her. I needed to calm her down.

She accepted the hug and started sobbing over my shoulder.

"It's okay mom. Everything is going to be okay" I said patting her on the back. I wish she would just forget now! So the crying would stop.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her. She didn't respond. She slowly started to release from my body. She stopped crying and stared blankly at my face. She stepped back dropping her hands down to her side. She just stood there staring at me.

"Mom what's wrong?" I asked steeping towards her. She didn't respond she just took a step directly towards me. "Mom" I said again she hasn't reacted like this before. She looked up into my eyes and then they drifted down. Her hands left her side and made their way towards me. I placed my hand out willingly towards her. She ignored the request and instead placed her hand on my abdomen. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. Just at the moment I felt a kick. 'Oh crap' I thought to myself, she knew! I knew she had felt the kick because as soon as she did her hands urgently left and were back by her side. She stuck her head up high and crossed her arms. Her expression had changed from shock into sudden anger. I was such an idiot thinking I could hide this from my mother. I was in serious deep trouble.

"I…can explain" was all that managed to escape my lips.

"MEREDITH GREY" she screamed in anger.

"Mom" I said placing a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?" she yelled throwing her hands in the air.

"Mom calm down." I said steeping backwards.

"You can't be a mother. You are still a child" she screamed back at me.

"I'm 30 years old mother, I'm barley a child." I said back at her.

"You can't raise a child Meredith! You won't be a good mother Meredith" her words cut deep.

"If I don't be like you, I will be a perfect mother" I yelled back at her. I was hurt.

"How dare you!" she screamed back me.

"I told you to make something of your life! To be extraordinary, and this is how you repay me! After everything I did for you!" He eyes looked cold.

"You did nothing! You screwed up my life! I'm finally beginning to be happy mom. On my own. Away from you. I'm not letting you screw up this child as well. I am extraordinary mom. I'm one of the best interns there is. I can do this! Just because you couldn't doesn't mean that I can't! I will be an extraordinary surgeon! But most of all I will be an extraordinary mother!" All of my thoughts had just exploded out of my mouth. It felt good. Everything that had been bottled up inside had just exploded out.

She just stood there shocked by my words.

"Meredith I can't deal with this I have a surgery to get to" she said grabbing her coat. With that she was gone again.

"Nurse" I yelled out. She entered the room stopping my mother from leaving.

"Just make sure she eats something!" I said storming out.

As soon as I entered the car the tears began to fall again. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. It just hurt too much. I felt a sudden kick. Someone was letting me know that I wasn't alone. I rubbed my belly and wiped away my tears. "Thank you" I said out loud to my unborn child.

When I arrived back home George was waiting at the door. "Alex said you went to visit your mother" he said holding a cheese and bacon roll in his right hand.

"Yes I did" I said making my way into the lounge and throwing my bag and coat on the chair.

"How did it go?" he asked nervously. I didn't say anything my face said it all. "I'm sorry" was all he could say.

"Do you want this?" he asked handing his cheese and bacon roll to me.

"Thanks" I said accepting it. I was hungry. "I'm just going to go and lay down" I said to him heading up the stairs.

"Yell if you need anything" he said smiling. I was lucky to have George. He was going to be a great uncle.

_8 weeks later…_

As I entered my room I noticed my home phone messaging button beeping. I pressed it.

"3 new messages" it spoke

Message 1. "Hello Dr Grey, I'm just calling to remind you that your next ultrasound appointment is on Thursday. See you there."

Lucky they left a message I almost forgot about Thursday.

Message 2. "Hey Mer, its Izzie. I won't be home till late tonight. I'm on call unfortunately. Dinner is in the fridge if you want some. Also I heard about you know who, are you okay?"

Okay that was a little confusing, who was she talking about?

Message 3. "Seriously Mer PICK UP! It's Cristina. You wouldn't believe what I just over heard the chief talk about with Burke. It's about him Mer. It's about Mc Dreamy! He's coming back!"

With that I felt my heart skip a beat.

**The next chapter will be longer **** How did you like this chapter? Derek will be in the next one I promise! So look forward to that. Why do u think he is back? What else would you like to see or suggest? Please review. Xxxx **


	6. heart on fire

**Here is chapter 6 **** ,hope you are still enjoying the story. Thanks for all the positive reviews! **** This is a MerDer fanfic so we know that they will end up together in the end, so just give it time. Thanks again xxxx And Happy Birthday Tiffani for reviewing and telling me it was your Birthday tomorrow :D**

**Song-Colourblind by Counting Crows**

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 6- Heart On Fire

I felt my whole world shift. One minute I was coming home with new baby onesies and cot sheets and the next minute my world was once again changing. I just sat there on the edge of my bed, lost in my thoughts. I couldn't stand the suspense anymore. Suddenly I heard a nocking at the door. "Thank god" I whispered rushing down the stairs. I opened the front door straight away. "You're here" I said allowing her inside. "Well Deh, I am your person" Cristina said walking up stairs into my bedroom.

"Stop pacing" she said lying down on my bed as I was walking up and down my bedroom.

"Why?" I screamed throwing my hands up in the air.

"Anaplastic Astrocytoma Brain Tumor. That's why" She said sitting up.

I slowly sat down on the ground. I just stared blankly at the wall. No response coming from my lips.

"The chief called him in. The patient asked for the best. It's a rare case; you'd be stupid to pass this up. That's why he is back Mer" Her words hit me like a speeding bullet. He wasn't here for me, he was just here for a case.

I still didn't say anything I just kept focusing on the wall.

"That's not what you wanted to hear tho. You wanted to hear that he divorced his wife for you. That he suddenly came to his senses and picked you, chose you, loved you. You wanted to hear that he came all this way to be with you, to love you. You wanted me to say that he wants to be a happy family. To marry you and become a father. That you and the baby are the only thing he cares about that nothing else matters. That's what you wanted to hear! Well I'm sorry Mer but I won't lie to you. I am your person. I tell you the truth, and the truth is you don't need him. You don't need a man to be happy. The truth is Mer that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." She said getting up and walking over to me.

She saw the tears in my eyes. "I know" I said getting up and hugging her. I took a step back. "I didn't tell him exactly… that I was pregnant " I said wiping away my tears.

"What" she said confused.

"Well… I didn't say 'Derek I'm pregnant' I… just said that we needed to talk and that I had something I needed to tell him. That it was life changing. That I needed him. Stuff along those lines. That's what I left in the messages" I said looking down at my feet.

"Oh" was all she could say.

"I didn't think it was something to leave in a message. It was more of a thing to say in person or at the very least, actually speaking to him. It just didn't seem right to leave it in a message" I said sitting down on my bed. Cristina followed and sat beside me.

"What now" she said looking at me.

"I don't know" I replied.

"His flight arrives around noon tomorrow. He will be at the hospital for at least 3 days depending on the patient. But look on the bright side, if he kills the patient he will only be there for one day." She said giving me a half smile.

"I have to work tomorrow." I said turning to her.

"Oh crap." she said.

"Look you are like what… 30 weeks pregnant? Just use that excuses and stay in the clinic all day." She said trying to cheer me up.

"Avoid the father of my child? The love of my life?" I said questioning her.

"Precisely." She said getting up. "Besides there are plenty more fish in the sea, or whatever they say. She stood staring right at me. "This kid already has so much love and support Mer! You don't need Mc Ass. Trust me. It's not like you are technically a single mother, you have us. We grew up without fathers and look how we turned out." She said. I raised my eye brow. "Okay maybe that was a bad example." She said taking off her shoes.

"We will be fine?" I said lying down.

"We will be fine." She said lying back down with me.

I placed my hand over my belly. "We will be fine." I said again before drifting off to sleep.

The annoying beeping of my alarm clock woke me up. "Cristina" I whispered.

"Seriously" she said rolling over.

"Seriously." I muttered.

"Well at least in 4 weeks you get to go on maternity leave." She said sitting up. "You get to sleep in as much as you want." She said shoving me playfully.

"Maternity leave will suck. I'm treated like a human incubator. No surgeries. People already treat me differently as it is." I said trying to get up.

"Mer first of all, you are a human incubator. Second of all, you hardly get any surgeries anymore because no one wants a pregnant chick in their OR. And last of all people treat you differently because if they say the wrong thing, you go all pregnant hormonal chick on their ass." She said walking into the bathroom.

"I do not." I yelled.

"You do." Alex yelled from the hallway. I threw a pillow towards him.

"Missed." He laughed.

"Ass." I poked my tongue out at him.

As I entered the Kitchen I found Alex using my peanut butter for his toast.

"Mine." I snatched off him.

"Hey! Sharing is caring." He said smiling.

"Not when it involves MY peanut butter." I yelled.

"Gezzz, okay, don't get or hormonal over my ass." He said taking a bite of his toast.

I grabbed the tea towel and started whipping him with it. "Ouch." He said steeping back. "Okay, okay, won't happen again." He said walking out of the room.

"What are you laughing about?" I yelled at Cristina.

"Nothing." She said still laughing.

"I see you painted the nursery yellow." Izzie said grabbing a coffee.

"It's calming." I said licking my spoon of peanut butter.

"It's sicking." Cristina said steeling Izzies coffee.

"Well I like it." Izzie said smiling.

"Thank you." I said finishing off my jar of peanut butter.

"Still want it to be a surprise?" Izzie questioned.

"Yes." I nodded.

"I thought you had enough surprises to last you a life time." Cristina said putting her coat on.

Izzie gave her a look. "What?" she said drinking more coffee.

"I just don't want to know yet. Okay?" I said to them both.

"Okay." They said in sync.

"Ready?" George asked coming down stairs with the car keys.

"Ready." We all said.

When we reached the hospital my nerves already began to start. Luckily I was only in the clinic and not performing surgery. I would stuff that up completely. My mind was not on the job today.

"Looks like you will need some stiches." I said to the patient.

"Great." She moaned.

"Just lay off the Ice Hockey for a while, okay?" I told her applying the stiches.

"Whatever." She said rising her eye brows.

Why do teenage girls have to be so bitchy? I thought to myself.

Lunch couldn't of come sooner. I was really starving. Or maybe it was just the nerves, knowing that Derek could walk through those doors any minute. I tried not to care. I was over him, wasn't I?

"Patient in bed 4 will need a CT." I said to the intern while leaning on the desk at the nurses' station.

"Okay…." He said sounding scared of me.

"Now!" I said yelling at him. He ran straight away.

"Stupid interns!" Alex said signing his charts. I smiled and nodded at him.

"How has your day been?" I asked.

"Actually you are asking if I have seen Shepherd, and the answer is no. But if I do, I'll let you know." He said sarcastically.

"Ass." I yelled at him while he walked away.

Today must have been one of the longest days in history. The clinic was boring and long. But it was safe. I knew I wouldn't be seeing Mc Dreamy in here anytime soon. That was a relief. But knowing that he was strolling these halls right here in the hospital frightened me. He was so close yet so far.

The elevator beeped as the doors slowly opened. When I looked straight ahead I felt my body turn numb. Turn to stone. It was going to shatter into a thousand pieces at any minute. I couldn't move I couldn't feel a thing.

"Meredith?" His voice spoke as he stepped out of the elevator.

"Derek" I said as the painful word escaped my mouth.

He smiled his Mc Dreamy smile flashing his brilliantly white teeth. "Hi" he spoke walking towards me.

**Ahhhh Cliff hanger I know, sorry I tend to do that. Thanks for your reviews. The more I get the faster I write ;) I'm currently thinking of baby names. Any ideas don't be afraid to give ideas **** Also if you have any ideas of what should happen next also tell. I will take your ideas in mind **** Lots of love xxxxx**


	7. Waking Up In Paradise

**Here is chapter 7 :D it has really been fun writing so far! Keep up the reviews c: I'm sorry that I always leave you guys on cliff hangers, but the truth is that I do that because I don't know what I'm exactly going to write for the next chapter. And I enjoy it mwahahahaha. JK ;p. You are also wondering why I list a song in each chapter. It's because when you watch Grey's anatomy these is music in the background and it just makes that scene more powerful. I feel the songs I list for each chapter will express what the chapter is about. Its what I imagine will be playing in the background. I also listen to these songs while I write these chapters. So go give them a listen to :D xxx**

**Song- Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol**

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 7: Waking Up In Paradise

"Life is not made up of minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years, but of moments. You must experience each one before you can appreciate it."

― Sarah Breathnach

He just stood there flashing his brilliantly white smile. I heard the elevator doors close behind him. I needed to get on but my legs wouldn't move. Suddenly his pager went off. He looked up at my face, smiled and started to head towards nurse station. "Hi?" I said out loud questioning the first thing he said to me in 4 months. "Hi!" I said out loud again angrily. I tuned around facing his back as he was still walking to nurses' station. I urgently took off my heavy thick rain jacket that was 3 sizes too big and threw it on the ground. Maybe he would say more than just 'Hi' if he saw what he did to me. With the jacket on you wouldn't tell I was pregnant, unless you were extremely close. "DEREK CHISTOPHER SHEPHERD" I yelled at him. He suddenly turned around shocked by my outburst. "FOUR MONTHS! AND ALL YOU SAY IS HI?" I screamed at him.

"Meredith." He said walking in my direction. "I have a surgery to get to." He said trying not to look at me.

"I hate you." I said through my breath.

"What?" he said with the hurt in his eyes.

"I hate you and its exhausting! I hate you for meeting me. I hate you for being married. I hate you for leaving! I hate you for not choosing us! I hate you for what you have put me through! I hate you! But most of all I hate the fact that I still love you. And I don't want to." I said as tears began to fall down my face.

He slowing began walking towards me. I stepped back. "You hate me?" He asked. I nodded. "You love me?" he asked. I nodded. "You hate that you love me." He said pushing his hands though his hair. I nodded "I'm sorry." He said looking me in the eyes.

"No! You don't get to be sorry Derek! You don't get to be sorry!" I said harshly.

He steeped closer. His eyes were always on my face. "You can't hate me as much as I hate myself Meredith." He spoke letting a tear drop down his face.

"Just leave already. You are good at doing that! You are just going to hurt us. I can't have that. I won't allow that Derek. Just go. We don't need you. Go and be happy with your wife. Don't pretend to care about us." I said steeping back, but he just walked closer.

"Us?" he asked confused. I placed my hands around my swollen baby bump without realising. He didn't notice until now that I was pregnant. He spent too much time focusing on my face. He face was in shock. He couldn't talk. He just stood there with his mouth wide open. I knew I couldn't stand here any longer.

"I called!" I yelled before shoving past him and heading into the closest on call room. I fell onto the bed and just cried. I haven't cried this much since I found out that I was pregnant and all alone. Why did he have to come back! I just started to become happy. Why did I even let it slip that I was pregnant. I should have just left as soon as he started walking to the nurses' station. I should have left it. But I just couldn't. I just wanted to hurt him just like he hurt me. I buried my head into the pillow and drifted off.

It was about midnight when I woke up starving. I really didn't want to leave the on call room, just in case I ran into Derek again. But I figured he would be in surgery by now. And I really wanted those peanut butter cookies from the cafeteria. Coast is clear, I thought as I opened the door and closed it behind me, but something made me jump.

"Bloody hell Christina" I said slapping her arm.

"I thought you went home?" she asked curious.

"I feel asleep." I said crossing my arms.

"Are you sure you weren't hiding from Derek?" She asked.

"I tried that and it didn't work." I said heading up to the cafeteria.

"So I heard." She said walking besides me.

"How?" I asked grabbing her arm.

"The whole bloody hospital heard you and Derek Mer. Seriously you decided the best place for a confutation was right near the nurses' station. Gossip is going to follow." She said looking at me.

"Just great!" I said grabbing four peanut butter cookies.

"Well someone's hungry." She said grabbing a bottle of water.

"I'm eating for two remember." I said shooting her a look.

"It's not like they didn't know he was the father. I mean it's pretty obvious. You guys were a thing." She said pulling a chair back for me to sit down on.

"I'm pretty sure I'm capable of sitting down. I'm pregnant not handicapped." I said taking a big bite out of my cookie.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." She said smiling.

"Oh bite me." I said.

"I'm not a big fan of peanut butter." She said lightly slapping my arm.

"Very funny." I said poking my tongue out at her.

"I thought you were scrubbing in Shepherd's surgery?" Cristina asked as Izzie sat down next to us.

"Finished about 15 minutes ago. " Izzie said tying up her hair.

"How'd it go?" George asked throwing Izzie a muffin.

"It was exciting! Fun! I never knew brains could be that interesting." Izzie said taking a bite from her muffin.

"So did he die?" Cristina asked.

"Of Couse not!" she said a little annoyed.

"Darn it!" I said not meaning it to come out loud. Izzie dropped her muffin and George looked blankly at me a little surprised.

"Derek has to stay here now." Cristina said clearing it up.

"Oh" they both said in sync understanding and continued to eat.

"Seriously!" I said eating my last cookie.

"Told ya, everyone knows!" Christina said finding the situation slightly humorous.

"Incoming 12'oclock." Alex said rushing to sit down.

"What?" I said quickly before turning around.

"Oh crap." Cristina said seeing what I just saw.

"Seriously." I said getting up.

"He wouldn't stop asking about you in surgery." Izzie said looking up at me.

"Meredith." Derek yelled rushing towards me.

"I can't do this right now!" I said to them and I started heading the opposite direction, hoping he wouldn't catch up. I turned around to see that Alex was blocking him from getting pass. I really did owe him one.

When I arrived home I went straight to the fridge and grabbed the milk carton. I was really missing coffee. But warm milk did help me sleep so that was a bonus. When I got dressed in my fluffy snoopy pj pants and a tight fitting purple elastic long sleeve T-shirt, the doorbell suddenly rang. I quickly tied my hair in a ponytail and walked downstairs. Who would be knocking at this hour? "Hello." I said opening the door. "Oh it's you." I said bitterly before shutting the door. His foot stopped it.

"Just let me talk." He said.

I opened the door. "Hi." I quickly said before trying to close it again.

"Meredith just listen." He asked begging.

"I'm listening." I said opening the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked dripping with rain.

"I can't. Your…wet." I said.

"I can take a shower." He said.

"No!" I responded. I just couldn't do this right now.

He was breathing deeply, Like he ran all the way here. I crossed my arms the breeze from outside was becoming too cold. Plus I was barefoot.

"Look you are freezing. Let me come in. I can't have you being cold." He said smiling.

"Fine!" I yelled. "Only because I'm cold, that's the only reason." I said shutting the door behind him. He took off his wet jacket and hung it on the coat hanger. He smiled.

"Why are you in bare feet?" he asked concerned.

"I was about to put some socks on but someone intruded" I said folding my arms.

"Well go and put some on now, I wouldn't want you to get splinters in your feet and the floor is very cold." He said worrying

"Since when do you care?" I asked throwing on some socks I found near the stairs, they were probably Izzies.

"Better?" I asked rising my eyebrows.

"Much!" he said smiling.

"I'm sure you're not here to talk about my feet." I asked looking at him.

"No I'm not." He said motioning me to follow him into the kitchen.

"You hungry?" he asked.

"I'm always hungry!" I said sarcastically.

He laughed and pulled out a jar of Peanut Butter from the cabinet and got me a spoon. "I hear this is your favourite." He said smiling handing me the jar.

"Thanks" I said tacking a spoonful.

"You look beautiful" he said staring at me.

"I'm fat." I said correcting him.

"You are perfect." He said pulling a piece of my hair behind my ear. I couldn't help but stare into his bright blue eyes.

"Please don't do this Derek!" I said steeping back.

"Why?" he asked.

"You have a wife!" I said looking into his eyes.

"Meredith…" he began to speak but I interrupted.

"I called!" I yelled. "I called! I left messages! Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to you?" I said wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I tried to be a loyal husband. I wanted to love my wife. I thought if I left it would be easier. That things could go back to the way they were. I was wrong. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't want to think about you Meredith. I wasn't in love with my wife anymore; I was in love with you. Every time I kissed her, I compared it to kissing you. I wanted you and I needed you. I can't take it anymore! Addison knows that I'm in love with you. She agreed to give me time, hoping it will pass. It hasn't. Meredith I made a mistake. I choose wrong. I wish I could go back! Believe me I really do."

I just stood there standing. Why did he have to play around with my emotions like this! It wasn't fair! Why did he have to say that! Now I'm confused more than ever! He slowly walked up to me placing his hand on my swollen belly. His touch sent electricity running though my veins. It made me shiver with delight. The baby kicked from his touch. His mouth flew open and his face lit up with joy. "Wow" he said smiling a wide Mc Dreamy smile.

**I loved writing this chapter which is why it was longer than all the others :D thanks for all the suggestions! I love you guys xxx Chapter 8 will be up soon ;) Do you guys like the quotes I put before a lot of the chapters? Remember to review! The more reviews the faster I upload ;) xxx **


	8. The Future Is Always Changing

**Chapter 8 is here! I try and update every few days to a week, depending on my school and work/acting load. Thanks again for all the positive feedback. You guys are incredible! I have no idea how many chapters I'm going to do, all I know is that I've only just started this story, So I hope you guys love long fan fictions ;)**

**Song- Heart on Fire by Scars on 45**

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 8- The Future Is Always Changing.

_I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed because this is like that moment in the morning when you first wake up and you're still half asleep. And everything seems . . . Things are possible. Dreams feel true. And for that one moment between waking and sleeping . . . anything can be real. And then you open your eyes and the sun hits you and you realize . . . I'm just gonna keep my eyes closed."_

_-Izzie Stevens_

I wished this moment never had to end. It seemed perfect. I was happy. But it didn't take long for reality to sink in. He was still married. He had a wife. I needed time to think. I had to remember I hated him. But he made that so difficult!

"You have to go!" I said moving. His hand left my stomach.

"Why?" he asked.

"I'm… tired Derek." I said walking towards the door.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" he asked. Why would he say that?

"100%." I said lying.

"Call if you need anything. I'm serious anything!" he said opening the door.

"That didn't work the first time, remember!" I said crossing my arms.

"For that I'm truly sorry Mer. That will never happen again! Promise!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep Derek." I said walking closer to the door.

"I wanted to call you every day Meredith! It took everything I had not to!" he said leaning against the door frame.

"You could have replied to my messages Derek! That wouldn't have been too hard!" I said getting angry.

"What messages?" he asked looking confused. "You just called. Didn't you?"

"I left about 7 or more messages on your phone Derek!" I said about to slam the door.

"I checked my phone everyday Meredith! There was no messages." He said holding open the door.

"Even the chief left a message Derek!" I said yelling.

"Yeah Addison said the chief left a message about my contract." Derek said fumbling on words.

"Addison took your messages?" I asked confused.

"She only took them when… I wasn't around." He said lost in thought.

"What?" I said as a wave of realisation came across his face.

"Addison!" he cursed.

"You think she deleted them?" I asked in shocked.

"I have to go Meredith." He said grabbing his car keys. "See you tomorrow." He said waving and quickly hurrying off. He ran to his car, urgently driving away.

I closed the door. That was very strange, I thought to myself. Why did he run of so fast like that? What about Addison? Was my suggestion really correct? Did she delete my messages? Or was Derek just lying? Who knows? I didn't want to think about this right now. It was time to get some much needed sleep. It had been a long day, and I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be even longer.

_The next day…._

Today was going to be another boring day in the clinic. No one would put me on their service since I was pregnant. I swear the chief was behind that. I will probably go to the gallery later on a watch a few surgeries, I was getting desperate!

"Hello I'm Dr Grey and I will be your doctor for today. What seems to be the matter?" I said pulling back the curtain talking to the patient.

"I've been fainting a lot lately, and my husband has been getting worried. He forced me to come here today. He's just gone to the cafeteria to get me some orange juice. I'm sure it's nothing." She said smiling.

"We will run a few tests just to make sure." I said returning the smile. "Name and age?" I asked.

"Jennifer Stone, 34." She said rubbing her swollen belly. "I pregnant as you can see." She said noticing I was staring at her belly.

"How far along?" I asked filling out her chart.

"36 weeks." She said sounding proud. "What about you?" she said pointing to my stomach. For a moment I forgot that I was pregnant, let alone so noticeably pregnant. Her question caught me by surprise.

"7 months today." I said smiling to her.

"Well congratulations." He said giggling.

"Thanks. "I said taking her blood pressure.

"I'm surprised you're still working? Is your husband okay with you working long hours this far along your pregnancy?" she asked staring at me.

Her question caught me off guard. "Oh, you know it's a hospital, so if anything happens I'm safe." I said checking her vision. She still was looking at me like I haven't finished answering her question. "The father is also a doctor." I said writing the results on her chart.

"Oh, that's good." She said smiling as her husband soon appeared with her orange juice.

"How long has she been fainting for and how long does it last?" I asked getting back to being professional.

"About 2-4 times a week now." Her husband said holding her hand. "It lasts for about 2 minutes, sometimes longer." He said feeling scared.

"What could it be?" she asked looking at her husband.

"We will have to send you up for a CT, just to rule out some possibilities." I said awkwardly smiling at them. They seemed so happy. Jennifer suddenly dropped her orange juice, letting it spill all over the ground. "Jennifer!" Her husband yelled before Jennifer started convulsing.

"Page Dr Shepherd" I yelled holding Jennifer down.

"Jennifer! Jennifer!" her husband kept yelling. "What's happening?" he asked.

"I don't know." I said panicking.

"What's going on?" Derek said rushing past the nurses. Jennifer's body was moving all over the place. It was hard to keep her still.

"She just started convulsing!" I said turning to look at him.

"Move out of the way!" he said grabbing me.

"No!" I said holding my ground.

"It's not safe for you." He said grabbing me protectively and moving me behind him.

"Heart rate slowing down." The nurse yelled. "Blood pressure returning back to normal."

"Jennifer can you hear me? My name is Dr Shepherd." Derek said as her body sopped twitching and relaxed back to normal. She stared to mumble as she became conscious again. "Has this happened before?" he asked the husband.

"No, what's happening?" he asked getting all hysterical.

"We are going to find out." He said placing a hand on Jennifer's husband.

"Travis." Jennifer asked opening her eyes.

"I'm right here babe, I'm not going anywhere. You're going to be fine okay." He said kissing her.

"Order a CT now!" Derek said to the nurse. "Dr Collins can you run the CT on Mrs Stone please." He asked.

"I thought I was doing it?" I asked annoyed.

"Not in your condition." He said protectively.

"I'm fine!" I said angry.

"Dr Collins?" he asked looking at him.

"Right away Sir." He said taking Jennifer for a CT with her husband following closely behind.

"Are you feeling okay? Do you need to lie down?" he asked rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm perfectly capable of doing a CT Derek!" I said crossing my arms.

"You can't be in the CT room because of the radioactivity Mer, I won't put you guys in any danger!" he said placing her hand on my belly. I hated when he did that. He made it so hard for me to be angry at him.

"Okay." I said nodding.

"Let's go and get something to eat while we are waiting." He said smiling.

"I'm only agreeing because I'm starving" I said crossing my arms.

"Okay." He said following me into the direction of the cafeteria.

"Four peanut butter cookies, a bacon and egg roll, a double chocolate chip muffin and a cameral swirl milkshake please." I asked the cafeteria lady. "What?" I asked Derek, noticing that his mouth was open is shock.

"Nothing." He said smiling.

"$18.92." the lady said. I opened my wallet but a hand stopped me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"My shout." Derek said handing the cash to the lady and grabbing my food for me.

"I think I can manage carrying my own food." I said about to sit down.

"There you go." He said pulling the chair back for me to sit on.

"Umm…Thanks." I said sitting down. He grabbed a seat and sat right next to me.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" I asked taking a big bite from my muffin.

"Not hungry." He said smiling.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked.

"What?" he said confused.

"Watching me." I said taking a gulp from my milkshake.

"You're cute when you eat." He said placing his thumb on my chin and whipping off some chocolate. I looked away at his touch.

"Derek…." I said hesitating.

"I can't do this Derek." I said holding back the tears.

"Why?" he asked flashing his Mc Dreamy ocean blue eyes.

"I can't go through this again Derek! It hurts. You're hurting me!" I said trying not to look at him.

"I don't want to hurt you." He said placing his hand on top of mine.

"Derek you can be his/hers life, I grew up without a father and I don't want that for our child, but Derek I need to move on with my life." The words burned through my throat. His face dropped. I could see the tears swelling up in his eyes.

His body changed position and he pulled up his briefcase, opening it he grabbed out some papers and placed it on the table in front of me.

"What's this?" I asked confused.

"Divorce papers." He said looking me in the eyes.

"I don't understand?" I said staring at the papers in front of me.

"I chose wrong Mer, I love you, and I need you Meredith. I can't breathe without you." He said grabbing my hands and placing mine in his.

"You don't have to do this just because I'm pregnant Derek. Seriously! You can have shared custody. I will even let Addison be a Step Mother. Just don't lie to me!" I said dropping my hand out of his.

"I'm not lying Meredith. I more happy right now, here with you, than I have been in the last 5 years." He said grabbing my hand again.

"I don't believe you, I don't trust you." I said whipping away a tear.

"I don't want to be with Addison. I want to be here with you. I want to build a house with you. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. My future is with you Meredith Grey. I know you don't trust me right now. But I love you! And that's not ever going to change. You are the love of my life! It may have taken me a while to work that out, but it's true." He said getting up to kiss my forehead. I closed my eyes soaking in the moment.

"My marriage to Addison was over years ago, it just took me a while to realise that. She knows it to. She's been trying to fix it, but she can't fix what isn't there anymore. I sent the copy of the devoice papers to her apartment in New York. I only stayed with her out of liability for our marriage. I thought I could learn to love her again. I owed our marriage to give it another shot. I knew as soon as I left it was a mistake. My heart belongs to you Meredith." His words plus my raging hormones took over and before I knew it my lips were on his.

**So are you guys still enjoying the story? What do you guys what to happen? Addison will be making a surprise appearance soon. How do you think she will react to see a pregnant Meredith? Keep reviewing guys I love you! Any ideas or baby name suggestions mention them in your review :D xxxx **


	9. Where Do We Go from Here

**Here is chapter 9 :D hope you enjoyed the previous chapters ;) Sorry that I always leave you guys on cliff hangers. Remember to vote if you guys want MC Baby to be a boy or girl on my poll or just say in your review. **

**Song- My Fault by Imagine Dragons **

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 9- Where Do We Go from Here

"It seems we have no control whatsoever over our own hearts. Conditions can change without warning. Romance can make the heart pound just like panic can. And panic can make it stop cold in your chest. It's no wonder doctors spend so much time to keep the heart stable, to keep it slow, steady, regular to stop the heart from pounding out of your chest from the dread of something terrible or the anticipation of something else entirely."

-Meredith Grey

I felt my heart racing. I couldn't control the urge, it was too strong. I knew it wasn't right. But it felt so right. So perfectly right. Everything else in the background just floated away, and all I saw was him. His perfectly pink chapstick lips were calling out for me to touch them. To taste them. I needed to feel them against mine. Before I realised what I was doing I grabbed his coat and pulled his chest against mine. Heat was burning inside of me. Stupid hormones. I was breathing heavily. I wasn't in control anymore. His words had just tipped me over the edge. I had missed him so much. I needed him. I wanted him. I could smell the cologne he was wearing, just seeping through my pores. I couldn't take it any more I had to satisfy my urge. 'Just one kiss' I told myself. I pushed my lips against his urgently.

The heat was burning from inside of me. He didn't refuse the offer. His lips moved against mine, diving deeper. It was warm and satisfying. I placed my hands against his chest as he placed his around my waist pulling me in closer. I couldn't stop. I just wanted more. I needed more. I wanted this moment to never end. Not to worry ever again. To be stuck in this so called paradise.

Our lips finally parted when we had to take a breath. He pulled me in closer placing one hand on my chin. He raised it smiling. He seemed ecstatically happy. I returned the smile. "I love you." He said placing another kiss on my lips.

His head lifted up when we heard coughs from the table behind us. Crap, I forgot we were sitting in the middle of the cafeteria. This gossip is going to travel fast. By the end of the day everyone is going to know about it. Just perfect!

"I forgot we were in the cafeteria." I said breaking from his grip.

"Whoops." He said laughing.

"Yeah, a big whoops!" I said grabbing my cookies and milkshake.

"You want to go to an on call room?" He asked winking. I slapped his arm. "Ouch." He said rubbing it.

"I've got patients to check up on." I said starting to walk away. He walked next to me.

"I let you go once, I'm not letting you go again." He said pulling me to his side as we were walking.

'Meredith remember you are mad at him! Don't forget that! He's still married! He threw you to the gutter! He hurt you! Beyond repair!' I tried to tell myself, which was harder than I thought. Suddenly his pager went off.

"Are the scans in?" I asked pulling away from him.

"Looks like it." He said looking at me.

"You're doing it again." I said taking a step back.

"Doing what?" he asked confused.

"Staring." I said smirking.

"Can you blame me." He said walking over to me and placing another kiss on my lips.

"I will meet up with you soon." He said smiling. "You and junior go and get some rest okay." He said walking into elevator.

"Junior?" I asked out loud confused as he left. Oh…. He meant the baby, the thought suddenly hit me. I couldn't help smile at the thought. I yawned. I was actually tired. I quickly finished my cookies and milkshake and headed to the closest on call room.

Thoughts kept buzzing through my mind making it hard to sleep. What does this mean! I don't want to be back with Derek! Do I? He hurt me so badly! He chose Addison and now he realises he made the wrong decision! What does this mean! I'm majorly confused! Was it just the hormones talking or did I really love him still. I couldn't think straight! I couldn't get him off my mind it was frustrating! I just wanted to kiss him again! I wanted to do more than just kiss him! I covered my head with the pillow. I just wanted to fall asleep. I need a clear mind.

I woke up busting to go to the bathroom. As I was washing my hands in the bathroom I bumped into some nurses. Who were whispering away. Great they knew. I bet the whole hospital knew by now. It was just perfect. "What?" I said moving past them. They just giggled and moved away.

It was about 8pm and I didn't bother going back to sleep. I couldn't sleep because the baby decided that now would be the perfect time to start kicking like crazy. "Shhh" I said out loud rubbing swollen belly. My feet had also decide it would be a great time to be swollen and sore. I was really getting sick of being pregnant.

"Dr Grey." Somebody yelled my name.

"Who's calling?" I asked turning around in a circle looking for who was calling my name.

"Jennifer Stone." A familiar voice called out of room 304.

"Oh, hey." I said walking into her room. "How are you feeling?" I asked her grabbing her chart.

"Much better, I think?" she responded.

"Looks like you have a small brain bleed. That's what is causing your fainting and other symptoms." I said looking at her.

"Dr Shepherd says it's a easy fix. That I will be back to normal in no time." She said smiling.

"That's great!" I said putting her chart back.

"Is he good?" she asked a little worried.

"He's the best!" I said giving a huge positive smile.

"Good." She said resting comfortably in her bed.

"Travis went to go and get something to eat. He hasn't eaten all day. Poor man." She said looking concerned.

"Well that's a good improvement." I said smiling.

"Dr Grey aren't you supposed to be resting?" Derek asked coming into the room.

"I did." I said smirking.

"Right." He said sarcastically. "How are you feeling Mrs Stone?" he asked giving a warm smile.

"Just want to get it over and done with." She said nervously.

"The surgery is booked for tomorrow morning. Make sure you get lots of rest." Derek said looking at me with the 'rest' part of the sentence.

"will do." She said nodding.

"Is Dr Grey helping on my surgery?" Jennifer asked.

"I'm afraid not. Not I the condition she is in at the moment, if you understand." Derek said smiling.

"Derek I'm perfectly capable." I said a little annoyed.

"I wouldn't want to put you and junior at risk" he replied giving me a sympathetic look.

"Fine!" I said crossing my arms.

"You're him?" Jennifer asked pointing at Derek.

"Who?" Derek and I said in sync.

"The baby daddy." She said giggling. The name made Derek and I both laugh in response.

"Yes." He nodded. "That oblivious?" he asked.

"Junior?' she said laughing. "Dead giveaway!"

"So are you guys having a boy?" she asked.

Derek went blank. He didn't know the sex of the baby. To think of it, he really didn't know much at all. We would defiantly have to have a conversation rather than kissing next time.

"It's a surprise." I said stepping in to answer. He turned to smile at me.

"Awww." She said smiling.

"Who's hungry?" Travis her husband said walking in with a basket full of food.

"Meeee." Jennifer said raising her hand in the air.

"Our queue to exit." Derek whispered in my ear. We waved goodbye and left her room.

"How are you feeling? And don't say fine!" Derek asked stopping me in the hallway.

"Swollen and sore, my feet hurt! I'm fat! And all I can think about is sex!" I said trowing my hands up in the air. He stared laughing. "It's not funny!" I yelled. "This is your entire fault! You got me pregnant!" I said starting to cry.

"Are you crying?" he asked looking confused.

"No!" I said lying. "Yes!" I reinstated. "I'm mad!

"You're mad?" He asked confused rubbing my falling tears from my checks.

"I cry when I'm mad!" I said trying not to cry anymore.

"Why are you mad?" he asked hugging me tightly.

"Because I'm fat, I can't do stupid surgery's and every time I'm near you all I can think about is stupid sex!" I yelled. He laughed. "Stupid hormones!" I said crossing my arms.

"You are just too adorable!" he said kissing me on the cheek.

"I'm fat!" I protested.

"There is nothing I find hotter than the mother carrying my unborn child. Trust me! It's a huge turn on." He said grabbing my butt.

"Derek!" I said slightly slapping his arm.

"Can you blame me?"He winked. My face dropped. "What is it Mer?" he asked lifting up my chin.

"I still don't trust you." I said stepping back. "I'm extremely confused at the moment Derek." I said flicking my hair behind my ear.

"I know Mer and its all my fault I know that! But I'm going to do everything possible to get your trust back! I will do anything for you Mer. Nothing is more important to me than you and this child." He said placing his arms protectively around us both. "If anything happened to you two I would never forgive myself! I want to spend every living second with you" he said looking deeply into my eyes.

"Since you can't be in the surgery tomorrow how about you sit and watch from the gallery? Knowing you two are safe up there will keep my mind at ease. Can you do that for me Mer?" he asked looking desperate.

"Okay…" I said knowing I had no other option. I still didn't trust him, yet forgive him. But for our child I would give it a shot.

**I'm so proud that I finished two chapters in one night YAY! What do you think about MerDer so far? Should Meredith take him back? Should the Mc Baby be a boy or girl? How will Addison react when she finds out? Review and tell me! xxx **


	10. Somewhere Only We Know

**Thanks for all the reviews guys xxxx Remember to go on my profile and vote on my poll on which sex the MerDer baby should be! The more reviews the faster I write remember ;) Just a quick question, what is your favourite episode/scene from Grey's? Just curious :D**

**Song-Timeless by Kate Havnevik**

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 10- Somewhere Only We Know

"Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget."

-Meredith Grey.

When I walked into the locker room the next morning everyone was staring at me. It felt like their eyes were staring into my soul. "What?" I screamed slamming my locker door shut. They all continued to stare at me whispering between each other.

"EVERYONE OUT!" Cristina yelled walking into the locker room. They looked scared. They were frightened of her. It didn't take long until they were rushing out the door.

"Thanks." I said sitting down.

"You're my person; no one messes with my person!" Christina said leaning against her locker.

"You know?" I said raising an eye brow.

"The whole hospital knows Mer! Maybe kissing in the cafeteria wasn't the best idea." She said folding her arms.

"Pregnancy is screwing with my head." I said putting on my lab coat.

"So…" she said smiling.

"So…" I repeated.

"Was it good?" she asked giggling.

"We didn't have sex Cristina!" I said pulling my hair back.

"Why not? "She asked smirking.

"Because we aren't back together." I said crossing my arms.

"That's not what it looks like!" she said laughing.

"Well, I don't know what we are, he's still technically married." I said sighing.

"Not for long I hear. Apparently he was coming back even before the surgery. So I heard." She said drinking from her water bottle.

"Really?" I asked confused.

"Yep! Burke told me". She said nodding.

"He probably won't even be here long. So what's the point of even trying?" I said looking down at my feet.

"Didn't he tell you?" she asked me confused.

"Tell me what?" I said getting up.

"He asked Richard for his old contract back. He's staying Mer." She said walking over to me.

"Why?" I asked looking at her.

"Ah I don't know, maybe it's because he's in love with you, he always has been!" she said sarcastically.

"I`m not going to be one of those pathetic girls, whose world stops spinning because of some guy." I said opening the door.

"Well at least get some sex. You are too highly strung lately. You need to relax." She said grabbing her chart from the nurses' station.

"I'm not too highly strung!" I said crossing my arms.

"Yes you are, and you always smell like peanut butter!" she said laughing.

"Why do you want me to get back with Derek?" I asked following her down the hallway.

"I don't want you back with him. I just want you to be happy Mer. Hanging around you makes me depressed. I don't care who you are with as long as you are happy. No more moping around these hallways all day, it's sad and a little pathetic. That kid needs a father and Derek is here, might as well get some free sex out of it as well." She said smiling.

"I do not mope around!" I said.

"Be bright and shiny Mer not dark and twisty!" she said walking away grinning.

"Who are you and what have you done with Cristina Yang." I said yelling towards her.

"Bright and shiny!" She shouted back.

Well that was a total disaster; I was hoping she would bitch about why I shouldn't be with Derek. Hoping it would make my decision a lot easier. It failed miserably.

"Well, how are my two favourite people doing today?" Derek asked jumping out from behind me.

"You scared me!" I said catching back my breath.

"I'm sorry." He said kissing me on the cheek.

"Haven't you got Jennifer's surgery to prep for?" I asked looking at him.

"Izzie is helping me with that. I just come to check up on my two favourite people in the world." He said placing his hand on my belly. He touch sent a wave of electricity through my body.

"Didn't you think I was going to show up in the gallery?" I asked sarcastically. He laughed.

"Of course I did." He said smiling.

"I still can't help?" I asked really wanting to be in the surgery.

"Having you up there in the gallery will help me a lot." He said creasing my face.

"Are you sure I won't distract you?" I asked smirking.

"Well, you are the distracting type." He said kissing my forehead.

"You should probably stop giving me so much affection in public." I said eyeing the nurses near by.

"I don't give you enough affection!" he said smiling. "Let them talk, I don't care."

"You don't?" I asked "The gossip and constant staring doesn't bother you?"

"I want everyone to know that I love you Meredith and that no other man can have you because you belong to me. I will shout it to the roof tops." He said grabbing my hand and placing it in his. I shivered at his touch.

"Derek…" I said pulling away.

He stepped back. He started to smile which was a little weird since I just rejected his hand holding.

"I LOVE YOU MEREDITH GREY!" he shouted out, spinning around making sure the whole hospital heard. Everyone stopped and looked right at us.

"DEREK!" I shouted placing my hand over his mouth. "I believe you okay!" I said still having my hand over his mouth. He giggled and nodded. I slowly removed my hand.

"Come here!" I said grabbing his T-shirt and pulling him into the on call room.

"This looks cosy." He said winking.

"Derek!" I said slapping his arm.

"What was that for?" he said not taking his eyes off me. His body was co close. Pressed up against mine.

"That!" I said slapping him again. "What was that Derek?" I asked.

"Confessing my love for you!" he said leaning down to kiss me.

"In front of the whole hospital!" I said throwing my hands up in the air.

"Why not." He said giggling.

"Why didn't you tell me that you asked Richard for your old contract back?" I said pulling away.

"I was going to tell you over dinner tonight." He said smiling. "I made a booking at that little old Italian restaurant you love down the street. Its very romantic." He said smirking.

"And you just thought I would agree to go on a date with you?" I said crossing my arms.

"Yes." He said placing his hand on the door frame and leaning over me.

"Well you're wrong. I'm busy!" I said shaking my head,

"No you're not, Izzie said that you had a movie night planned but she let me take you out instead. She told us to go out and have fun." He said smiling.

"Izzie?" I asked angrily.

"She's a good friend." He answered smiling.

"I still can't go out with you" I said protesting.

"Please!" he said with his huge ocean blue puppy eyes.

"Stop that!" I said lightly slapping him.

"Don't make me beg!" he said leaning closer in.

"Fine!" I said quickly pulling away.

"Yes!" yes yelled happily grinning.

His pager went off. "Let's go." He said opening the door for me.

It made me anxious waiting up in the gallery. Seeing him down there working on Jennifer's open brain made me shiver. He was almost finished I was glad about that. I still wished I was down there with him. I hated not knowing what was happening. It looked so exciting. Stupid Izzie! Why should she get this surgery? I was seriously going to have a good chat with her about a little subject called 'Interference'.

Every few minutes Derek lifted his head to look up at me. He was one of those overprotective types for sure. I knew he was never going to let me do anything while I was pregnant. I might as well lie on the couch all day he wasn't going to let me do anything else.

"Excited about our date?" he asked me after getting out of surgery.

"How did the surgery go? Is Jennifer going to be okay?" I asked changing the subject.

"She is going to make a full recovery. Her and the baby are going to be fine." He said smiling.

"Why do you keep smiling?" I asked puzzled.

"I'm happy." He said pulling me closer to him.

"Why?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Because I'm here with the love of my life. I'm about to be a father. We are going to be a family" He said kissing my forehead.

"You really think so?" I asked.

"I know so!" he said squeezing me into a bear hug. "What do you think of this?" he asked grabbing out a large piece of paper from his pocket.

"What is it?" I asked stunned.

"Our future house!" he said grinning a huge smile.

"House?" I asked shocked.

"Well, I have to build something on all that land I brought. Right?" he said winking.

"You don't need to Derek. Seriously." I said pulling away.

"I want to!" he said looking at me.

"I want us to be a real family. I really meant it when I said I wanted to marry you. To build a house with you. I want to start the future now. I want to be with you forever." He said pointing to the master bedroom on the blue print.

"My house is just fine." I said on a loss of words.

"It's your house Meredith not ours." He said pushing a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'm not ready for this Derek." I said staring at him.

"Just one step at a time." He said grabbing my hand.

"What are we?" I asked turning to face him. "I still don't trust you Derek, and I don't know if I will, all I know is that I love you." I said shocked by what I just said.

He smiled. "Your my girlfriend Meredith and I'm hoping one day you will be much more than that." He said kissing me deep with passion and lust.

"Okay…" I said slowly breaking away from the kiss and hesitating on my words.

"Okay." He said walking into the elevator with my hands in his.

"I have an appointment tomorrow." I said breaking the silence.

"Huh?" he responded confused.

"My next ultrasound appointment if you want to come?" I said looking at him.

"Really?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Well, you are the father remember." I said laughing.

"I can't wait!" he said almost crying for joy. He placed his hand one my belly and smiled.

The elevator beeped and we made our exit with our hands entwined together.

"Hungry?" He asked helping me put my coat on.

"Starving!" I said flicking my hair back. "This one is always hungry!" I said placing my hands around by belly. He giggled.

"Well, we better not keep him waiting." He said smiling. "Are you warm enough?" he asked being all over protective again.

"We are fine Derek!" I said giggling. "You're not going to be one of those overprotective dads who won't let their pregnant girlfriend do anything and just drives her crazy?" I said smirking.

"Can't make any promises." He said as we were walking towards the front doors of the hospital. But something stopped us.

"DEREK SHEPHERED!" a Voice yelled from behind us.

"What the hell is this!" she said holding up the devoice papers.

"Addison." I whispered in shock of who was standing in front of me. This situation felt a little repeated. I looked up at Derek who was also in shock. My hands slipped from his.

"OH MY GOD!" Addison said letting a gasp leave her mouth. She was looking right at my pregnant belly.

**Sorry another cliff hanger. What do u guys think so far? What should Derek or Meredith do? Remember to vote on my poll on my profile if Mc Baby should be a boy or girl. REVIEW! xxxx**

i


	11. In The Shadow Of Your Heart

**Hey guys :D thanks again for all the positive reviews :D Remember to keep voting on my poll on weather Mc Baby should be a boy or girl? It's found on my profile. A baby boy is currently in the lead. If you want it to be a girl, Start voting! **

**If you guys want to follow my tumblr or ask me questions here it is I will answer all questions **** I will even follow you back if u want :D . I would like to get to know more of the fans of Grey's anatomy. I only know like one person personally that likes it. I need someone to fangirl with lol. Sorry about my blabbing and onto the story which I hope you continue to enjoy :D xxx**

**Song- Cosmic Love by Florence + Machine **

**All rights of this belong to Shonda Rhimes and the show Grey's anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 11- In The Shadow Of Your Heart

Satan was back. She was standing right in front of me. Words couldn't describe the emotions I was feeling right now. Everything just seemed so perfect a few seconds ago. But as always, the universe decided to flip on me, and created a huge disaster know as my life!

I wasn't the only one who seemed a little more than flabbergasted. Derek's mouth was still wide open in shock.

"Addison." Derek finally spoke sighing.

"Great to know that you still remember me Derek." She said through her teeth.

"I should leave..." I said turning around, but a muscular hand grabbed my shoulder and stopped me.

"You're not the one who should be leaving." Derek said wrapping his hands protectively around my waist. Right in front of Addison.

"I don't understand?" Addison said throwing her hands in the air. I saw a tear falling down her cheek.

"I thought I made myself pretty clear Addison. When I said I didn't want to be with you, that I made a mistake. I told you how I felt. You knew, deep down you knew that I would never love you again. I thought you had accepted that! You aren't the love of my life anymore, you haven't been for years. I'm sorry that I can't love you the way you deserve. But as you can see someone else already owns my heart." Derek said turning to smile at me. I wished he had done this the first time.

"So you thought you would call to tell me that you want a divorce and that the papers will be there in a few days for me to sign and then hang up? What kind of person are you Derek?" she said yelling.

"For that I'm sorry. But our marriage couldn't be repaired. I knew that! You knew that! We shouldn't have even tried. Admit it; these last 7 months have been miserable." He said looking into her eyes.

"Why did you even bother then?" she said steeping forward.

"Because I wanted the Addison I married. But I was wrong. Not about you, but about me. You are the Addison I married, but I'm not the Derek you married, and I'm never going to be him again. I'm sorry." He said.

"So that's it huh?" She said steeping back wiping away a few tears.

"I guess it is." He said pulling his grip around me tighter.

"So what now?" she said bitterly.

"You will get the house in New York. We will get our divorce. You will go back to live in New York. I will stay here with Meredith in Seattle. And you can go on living your life with no interferences from us." He said pleased with his arrangements.

"You aren't doing all of this just because she's Pregnant? Are you?" she said raising her eye brow.

"I would do anything for Meredith in a heartbeat, Pregnant or not. I love her more than my own life" He said strongly.

"Because if it's a kid you want I'm sure we can work something out, Custardy or adoption." She said mumbling.

"I don't want a child with you Addison. I don't want you Addison." He said. At any given moment I could have ran, but I didn't. Something was pulling me towards him. Holding me still. Gravity had me in its control.

Addison gasped. She was distraught and angry. The universe had just screwed her over. I guess that's what's happens when you sleep with your husband's best friend. You also get screwed.

"I See." She said holding back the tears. She grabbed a pen from her purse and quickly signed the divorce papers. "Here." She said throwing them against Derek's Chest. "Congratulations." She said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way Addison. I hope you meet someone who will love you the way you deserve." He said sounding sorry.

"Have a great life Derek." She said storming off towards the elevators. She was pissed. She was Angry. She really was Satin. But I still felt sorry for her. Darn Hormones!

"Ready to eat beautiful?" Derek said grabbing my hand and kissing me on the cheek. I smiled. I didn't know why I did. I think it was because I finally knew he really loved me, more than his own life. I loved him so much at this moment. I was finally happy to have him all to myself but that's also what scared me a little.

"Ready." I said quizzing his hand. He bent down to kiss me deep with passion.

"Tonight sounds like a night to celebrate." He said smirking.

"What for?" I said acting dumb.

"I'm yours now, officially as of right now!" he said with joy. "My heart now officially belongs with you Meredith Grey, take care of it." He said putting his forehead against mine and taking in my scent.

"I will. I promise." I said kissing him on the lips.

xxx

"So what does the love of my life want to eat?" Derek said holding up the menu.

"A large Bacon and Italian herb pasta with a Lemon Ice Tea." I said smiling.

"Sounds yummy!" He said calling the waiter over. "I think I'll have the same." He said smiling.

"Derek…" I said after the waiter took our orders.

"Yes." He replied.

"Did you really mean everything you said back there? To Addison I mean. It's not just because I'm pregnant?" I asked nervously.

"I meant every single word. I love you Meredith, and I want to be with you forever." He said grabbing my hands and holding them in his.

"I love you too." I said looking deeply into his eyes.

"I love you more." He said giving his Mc Dreamy smile.

"Here is your food." The waiter said coming over.

"Thank you." We said digging into our food straight away.

Xxx

"Well that was fun." Derek said walking me to my door.

"It was." I said opening the door.

"We should do it again." He said laughing.

"Sounds like a plan." I said hanging up my coat. "Aren't you coming in?" I asked confused.

"I just didn't know if you wanted me to come in." he said slowly walking inside.

"Why wouldn't I?" I said confused.

"Because you still don't trust me." He said looking at me.

"I'm going to try and trust you because I believe that we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart." I said holding my hand out for him. A tear fell down his face. He took my hand and spun me around the room.

"You have just made me the happiest guy on earth." He said grinning. "I love you so much it hurts." He said placing me down and kissed me deep with lust and passion.

"I want to show you something." I said breaking away from the kiss.

"What?" he asked excited.

"Follow me." I said grabbing his hand and headed upstairs.

"Wow." He said as we walked inside.

"It's not finished yet." I said nervously.

"It looks fantastic!" he said jumping with joy.

"The cot is only half up?" I said stating a point.

"I'll finish that." He said smiling.

"So you like it?" I asked worrying.

"It's perfect!" he said kissing me.

"I'm glad you like it." I said smiling.

"I like yellow." He said laughing.

"Good." I said giggling.

"I still need to get a lot of stuff. All I have at the moment is the changing table, Cot, a few toys and clothing." I said pointing around the room.

"We will get it together." He said placing his hand on my belly.

"So you are actually going to let me put the cot up with you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Of course not! You can watch." He said rubbing his hand across my face.

"Fine." I said poking my tongue out at him.

"You are just too adorable." He said hugging me.

"I'm fat!" I said over his shoulder.

"Your perfect" he replied. "Now I better finish this cot. You should go and rest." He said walking over towards the cot.

"Can't you do it tomorrow?" I asked.

"We have our appointment tomorrow remember." He said excited

"Oh, that's right…" I said hesitating on the question I really wanted to ask him. "What about the day after that?" I asked.

"I don't think I'll have enough time." He said sighing.

"Well…Would you, ummm… have more time… if you stayed here?" I asked nervously.

"You want me to stay here tonight?" he said jumping up smiling.

"Not just tonight." I said stuttering on my words.

"You want me to stay here?" he asked confused.

"Yes." I said putting my hands in my pockets.

"Like live here?" he asked walking over.

"Yes.." I said nervously.

"With you?" he said grinning.

"Yes." I said. He ran up and hugged me. He was almost crying with joy.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you!" he said never wanting to let me go.

"I thought it would be easier if you were here, you know…for the baby and stuff." I said rambling.

"We are going to be a family!" he said over run with joy!

"We are going to be a family." I repeated. The thought of not being alone frightened me.

"Why don't you go and lie down you look exhausted!" he said worried.

"Okay." I said sighing.

"Don't worry I'll join you soon. He said giving a heart warming smile.

"I'll like that." I said exiting the nursery smiling.

Xxx

When I woke up I felt a pair of muscular arms cradling me protectively. One of his hands was placed around our unborn child and the other one wrapped around me, pulling me closer. It felt nice. I just wanted to stay here. Not to wake up. It felt like paradise.

"Morning beautiful." I head a whisper escape his lips.

"Morning." I said Turing my body around to face him.

"You look amazing!" he said playing with my hair.

"I think you need to get your eyes tested!" I said teasing.

"My eyes are perfectly fine." He said kissing my lips lightly.

"Oh" I said out loud and my hands were suddenly placed on my stomach.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked placing his hands on top of mine.

"He or she is kicking quite hard today." I said giggling.

"Oh I can see." He said laughing as he moved his hands around my belly.

"I think Junior is hungry." He said asking me.

"I agree!" I said sitting up.

"Breakfast in bed?" He asked kissing me.

"Sounds like a great idea." I said pulling my hand through his hair.

"Be right back." He said kissing me and then my belly. I wanted to cry. He was so perfect. For once in my life I was truly happy. I was going to have something I never thought I was going to have. A family.

**Eeeeep how Merder this chapter was. I really enjoyed writing it. I just love merder so much! What do u think should happen next? And has Addison left Seattle yet? The more reviews the faster I write :D xxxx**


	12. Light Surrounding You

**I'm exhausted from an all day musical rehearsal. We are doing Hairspray so it's going to be fun :D writing puts me in a relaxing mood. So here is chapter 12 :D I'm also very excited about going to see All Time Low live on Wednesday with my best friends :D Can't wait! Thanks again for all the positive reviews :D Remember to keep voting on my poll on weather Mc Baby should be a boy or girl? It's found on my profile. A baby boy is currently in the lead. If you want it to be a girl, Start voting!**

**Song- Cough Syrup by Young the Giant**

**All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 12- Light Surrounding You.

_Maybe I do believe it, all this "meant to be" stuff. Why not believe it, really? Who doesn't want more romance in their life? Maybe it's just up to us to make it happen. To show up and be meant for each other. At least that way you'll find out for sure - if you're meant to be or not._

-Meredith Grey

"How was breakfast?" Derek asked leaning over to kiss me.

"Yummy." I said smiling.

"What time is the appointment?" he asked excited.

"10.30." I said still lying on the bed.

"I guess we better get ready." He said kissing me all over my body. It sent electricity through me.

"Well, if you keep kissing me I don't think I will be able to get ready." I said smirking.

"Another time then." He said getting up.

"If you're lucky." I said pulling the sheets back.

"I a very lucky guy." He said walking to help me up.

"I'm a swollen wale." I said pouting as he helped me to my feet.

"You are no such thing!" You're perfect! I find you extremely sexy." He said wrapping his arms around my body.

"Liar!" I said still pouting.

"I'm not lying. Scouts honour!" he said holding up his hand.

"Whatever." I said pulling away. I was a stupid fat pregnant hormonal lady.

"Are you okay Meredith?" he asked turning around concerned.

"I'm fine!" I said lying.

"You can tell me anything. I'm here and I'm always going to be." He said looking deeply into my eyes.

"It's just…" I said hesitating "Why didn't you respond to any of my messages…I don't understand." I said looking down.

"Oh Meredith." He said pulling my face back up to meet his. "I didn't know there was any. I swear! Addison deleted them. I made her confessed to me on the phone the night you told me about them. I was so angry at her. I never knew Mer. I'm so sorry I never returned your calls. I wish I did. I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life." He said almost in tears. I knew he was really sorry. I could see it in his eyes. He hadn't had a good night sleep since. It really wasn't his fault was it? He didn't know? It was really Addison's fault, wasn't it? She kept him from us. I should at least really try and forgive him. If not for me, then for our child and our future.

"I forgive you." I said looking up at him.

"I love you so much." He said kissing me passionately on the lips.

"Let's get ready or we won't make the appointment." I said pulling away. He smiled and nodded in response.

* * *

"What?" I said walking down the stairs with Derek following behind me.

"Derek." Izzie said speechless dropping her spoon on the ground.

"I think you guys have meet before." I said confused.

"He stayed the night?" Izzie said giggling.

"And plenty more!" Derek said with a big cheesy smile.

"What's going on?" George said walking into the kitchen confused.

"Derek is what going on." Izzie said passing George his coffee.

"Really?" George said shocked. "You guys are together?" George asked awkwardly.

"Yes." Derek said proudly squeezing my hand. I nodded slightly embarrassed.

"Holy crap." George responded.

"George!" Izzie said eyeing him.

"What?" he asked confused while biting into his toast.

"Are you moving in?" Izzie asked giggling.

"Yes." Derek responded looking down into my eyes. Izzie screamed with joy.

"OMG I knew it! I knew you guys would get back together. You are meant to be together! I'm so excited!" Izzie said running over to hug me.

"Uh, thanks." I said awkwardly. "We are going to be late…" I said breaking away from her hug.

"Oh, go! Get out of here then. Have fun!" She said still jumping up and down with joy.

"Thanks." Derek said grabbing my coat for me.

"Well, I'm glad that's over" I said as we entered the hospital. "There is only so much Izzie I can handle." I said entering the elevator.

"Do you have to go back to work after?" Derek asked as the elevator doors opened.

"Yes, I need to work as much as I can before the chief puts me on maternity leave." I said as we were walking to the maternity floor.

"Okay. I'll be keeping an eye on you tho." He said winking at me.

"Sure, sure." I said as we sat down waiting. "Nervous?" I asked him noticing he was shaking a little and nervously looking around.

"A little." He replied. I smiled.

"Meredith Grey." A doctor called me name. We got up and followed her into the exam room.

"Hello Meredith my name is Dr Rushmore." She said as I got seated down.

"Hello." I responded back smiling.

"And you must be the baby daddy." Dr Rushmore said smiling.

"Yes." Derek said proudly.

"Okay so let's get started." She said as I pulled up my t-shirt.

"This will be a little cold." She said putting the gel on my belly.

"Okay here we go." She said sitting down and placing the ultrasound stick on my belly. You could hear all sloshing sounds and then the sound I loved the most, its heartbeat. Derek smiled with joy when he heard it. His hand placed in mine. He looked so emotional. He was happy.

"Strong heart beat." She said smiling at both me and Derek.

"There's the arms and legs." She said pointing to the screen. "And there is the head, the eyes and the little nose." She said pointing out all the little features. Our baby was growing so fast. It was amazing. He or she was perfect!

"Do you want to know the sex?" She asked looking at us both. I looked at Derek who looked back at me not knowing what to say. "I think we would like it to be a surprise." I said smiling. "Sounds like a great idea." She said smiling. Derek nodded happily squeezing my hand tighter.

"So you are due in about 7 weeks." She said putting the ultrasound stick away and wiping the gel on my stomach.

"Wow time is going fast!" I said slowly sitting up.

"It fly's by." She said laughing.

"Yeah it sure does." Derek added shocked knowing that in 7 weeks he was going to be a father.

"Here are two copies." She said handing us two pictures of the sonogram.

"This is going on the fridge!" Derek excitably added. I giggled.

"Well, I will see you again in 3 weeks." Dr Rushmore said smiling as we exited the room. Derek couldn't lose the huge gin showing on his face.

"Do you have the day off?" I asked as I pressed the elevator button.

"Yes." He said still smiling.

"You could probably put up the cot and meet me here back for lunch?" I said as the doors opened.

"Sounds like a brilliant idea." He said kissing me lightly. "See you two at lunch." He said still grinning and placing his hand on my belly.

"Can't wait." I said smiling as he got off the elevator and I stayed on. Today seemed like it was going to be a good day.

* * *

"So did he cry?" Cristina asked as we were sitting down chatting in the tunnels.

"His eyes were watery, if that's what you mean." I said slurping on my milkshake.

"I wanna see some bitch baby tears." She said laughing.

"Sorry to disappoint." I said giggling.

"Cristina.." I said hesitating.

"Yeah." She said throwing her drink into the rubbish bin.

"Do you ever feel like you don't deserve what you have?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked a little confused.

"I mean, I don't think I deserve any of this. I don't deserve to be pregnant, to have Derek. I don't deserve to be happy." I said looking at her.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." She said looking back at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You think you don't deserve to be loved so you accept that, but Mer you do deserve to be loved. You deserve to be with Derek, you just don't realise it. You deserve to have a family. You deserve to be happy." She said awkwardly smiling at me.

"I'm trying." I said.

"I know." She responded.

"Do you think I will be a good mom?" I asked fidgeting with my fingers.

"The fact that you are worrying about being a good mom makes you a great mom." She said smiling.

"You really think so?" I asked nervously.

"I don't think, I know!" she said patting me on the shoulder.

"Thanks." I said smiling back awkwardly. "What time is it?" I asked.

"1.30pm." she said looking at her watch.

"Crap, I forgot I made plans to meet Derek for lunch." I said quickly getting up.

"Bye!" She yelled as I quickly hurried towards the cafeteria.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late." I said kissing him on the cheek and siting down at the table he saved for us.

"It's okay." He said smiling.

"Stupid baby brain." I mumbled.

"I got you some lunch." He said pushing the tray in front of me. "Thought you would be hungry." He said smiling.

"Starving!" I said digging right into my lunch.

"How was your day so far?" He asked putting down the medical journal he was reading.

"Boring!" I said in between bites. "I can't go anywhere near a scalpel!"

"Well, that I'm glad about. You need to be resting not cutting people open." He said watching me eat.

"How was the cot?" I asked changing the subject.

"I got there in the end." He said sounding annoyed.

"Well, that I'm glad about." I said poking my tongue out.

"I brought this in the gift shop." He said giving me a wrapped brown paper bag.

"What is it?" I asked opening it.

"You will see." He said smiling.

"It's a ferry boat. A soft toy ferry boat. For babies." I said shocked.

"I always told you I liked ferry boats, and I know our kid will too." He said grinning.

"It's perfect." I said leaning over to hug him. He was going to be a great dad.

**Hoped you enjoyed this chapter :D I need some ideas on baby names? What do you guys want to see happen next? Any ideas don't be afraid to mention them in ur review :D xxxx **


	13. The Reckless And The Brave

**Here is chapter 13 guys :D I'm really excited for my birthday tomorrow :D All time low was fantastic btw! We were right in the barrier! I was so close to Jack it was epic! Anyways enough with my blabbing and onto the story. Thanks for the reviews xxx**

**Remember to keep voting on my poll on weather Mc Baby should be a boy or girl? It's found on my profile. A baby boy is currently in the lead. If you want it to be a girl, Start voting!**

**All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters, I just enjoy writing about them.**

**Song – Day By Day, By the Sunny Side Up**

Chapter 13-The Reckless And The Brave

"Sometimes, words fail."

-Owen Hunt

_2 weeks later…_

"So I hear Derek is already looking at a contractor for your dream house?" Cristina said walking down the hallway by my side.

"I don't know, he's just looking. Noting is set in stone. Everything is happening a little fast, don't you think?" I asked her while grabbing a Cadbury chocolate bar from my pocket.

"Well, you're kind of having a baby if you haven't noticed." She said sarcastically.

"Never would have guessed." I said sarcastically while rubbing my swollen belly. In the past two weeks I had really popped out more, if that was possible.

"How is that going by the way?" she asked not seeming that interested.

"Good. We almost got the nursery finished. We brought a car seat yesterday, it's so cute. Also these booties I found were just too adorable; Derek got carried away as well. This kid is going to spoiled." I said excitedly.

"Wow pregnant hormonal Meredith is a little scary." She said shocked by my bright and shininess.

"Bright and shiny, remember?" I said elbowing her.

"Oh, I remember." She said stopping to get a drink from the vender machine. "Has Derek told his family yet?" she asked opening her coke bottle.

"I…don't know?" I said really not knowing. "Derek and I haven't talked about it yet. I'm not really good with the whole family thing, you know." I said looking at her.

"Me either." She said as we started walking to the nurses' station.

"Ouch," I said placing my hand on my belly."

"What?" Cristina asked panicked.

"The baby is just kicking hard, that's all." I said relieving her.

"Are you sure you should be working?" she asked.

"I'm sure, I'm not due for five weeks, and besides I go on maternity leave next week. I need to clock in as many hours as I can!" I said looking over some charts.

"I guess you're right." She said slurping her drink.

"Hey beautiful." Derek said jumping from behind me.

"Hey." I said as he kissed me on the cheek.

"How are we going today?" he asked placing a hand on my belly. It made me giggle.

"Fine, just a lot of kicking that all." I said smiling at him.

"I've got patients." Cristina said escaping the happy moment.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Always." I replied.

* * *

"Derek?" I asked as I lay on top of him in the on call room.

"Yes." He said playing with my hair.

"Have you told your family…about." I said pointing to my belly.

"I tried too, but I just rather do it in person. Which is why…I invited her over." Derek said hesitating.

"What?" I said shocked quickly getting up.

"She was going to come anyways." He said sitting up.

"So you decided now was the best time, it's just so much, too fast." I said looking down.

"I'm sorry I should have spoken with you first. I wasn't planning on it, but she was going to come down, and I thought it would be better before the baby was born." He said placing his hand on my face.

"I understand, really I do Derek, it's just…I'm not good with this whole family stuff." I said turning to face him.

"You just need to practice." He said smiling.

"I will try, but no promises, and next time you have to tell me when and if you do decide to do this again, remember we are in a relationship. No secrets!" I said eyeing him.

"Promise, no secrets." He said bending down to kiss me.

* * *

"When is she coming?" I asked as we arrived home.

"Tomorrow afternoon." He said sighing.

"Seriously!" I said as we walked upstairs.

"I'm sorry, she insisted!" he said as we entered the bedroom.

"I guess it's better if we just get it over and done with." I said sitting on the bed.

"It's going to be fine! She will love you." He said pulling the bed covers back.

"I'm not the type of girl mothers like." I said getting under the covers.

"She's going to love you Mer." Derek said snuggling into me.

"You don't know that." I said resting my head on the pillow.

"Yes I do. I love you, she will love you, you are just the type to love." He said kissing my neck.

"No sex." I said closing my eyes. He laughed.

"Good night." He said wrapping his arms around me.

"Night." I said drifting off to sleep.

Xxx

"I can't do this Izzie." I said to Izzie in the Kitchen. "You will be fine Mer." She said passing me a freshly baked cookie.

"Mothers don't like me." I said taking a bite.

"Well you are about to be one, so I don't see why not." She said baking more cookies.

"Charming." I said sarcastically.

"Just relax." She said passing me another cookie.

"Okay." I said taking a deep breath.

"Oh yummy cookies." George said entering the kitchen. "What's up with Mer?" George asked.

"Derek's mother is in town." Izzie said giggling.

"Oh." George said noticing my panicking.

"Good luck." Alex said steeling George's cookie.

"Hey that's mine." George said angry.

"Sharing is caring." Alex said sarcastically.

"Mer everything is going to be okay." George said grabbing another cookie and quickly eating it before Alex could steel it.

"Sure." I said closing my eyes and taking another deep breath.

* * *

"You look nervous." Cristina said noticing the way I was clicking my pen.

"Dereks mother will be here in a few hours." I said through my teeth.

"Oh crap." She said laughing.

"It's not funny!" I said looking at her.

"No, not at all." She said still laughing. I slapped her arm.

"Oww." She said rubbing her arm.

"Baby." I said.

"Speaking of babies…" she said pointing to my stomach.

"This is going to be so awkward." I said sighing.

"Can I be there, to watch." She asked.

"Haven't you got patients?" I asked.

"Nothing surgical at the moment." She said annoyed at the fact.

"Poor Christina." I said sarcastically.

"I know, right!" she said not noting the sarcasm in my sentence.

* * *

"Don't be nervous." Derek said squeezing me hand.

"You look nervous too." I said looking up at him.

"She will be here any minute." He said Turing his head to look around the airport.

"Derek?" a voice called from a distance.

"Hey mom." Derek greeted her by hugging her. "It's good to see you." He said pulling out from the hug.

"It's been too long." She said fixing her sons hair.

"Yes it has." Derek said smiling.

"And who might this young lady be." She said noticing me standing there.

"Mom this is Meredith." Derek said pulling me besides him.

"Oh, I've heard about you." She said looking at me.

"Good things I hope." I said without trying to sound too nervous. I placed my hand out to shake hers.

"Nice to meet you Meredith." She said shaking my hand. She cautiously looked at me, then her eyes drifted down to my swollen belly.

"Oh my." She said shocked.

""I can explain mom, well. Surprise." he said a little frightened of her next reaction.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd!" she said angry.

"Yes." He answered frightened.

"Are you expecting?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Meredith and I are expecting." He said proudly.

"Is this why you ended it with Addison?" she asked confused.

"Addison and I were over years ago mom." He said pulling me closer to his side. "I'm with Meredith and she's the one for me mom, I love her." He said holding me tight.

"I see." She said cautiously.

"Please mom." Derek said looking at his mother.

"let's go and get something to eat." She said picking up her bags.

"Sounds good." I said smiling.

"Great." Derek said worried as we walked out the airport.

**Sorry for a short chapter, next one will be longer, promise! What do you guys want to happen next? What baby names? Boy or girl (vote) until next time xxxx**


	14. Open Your Eyes

**Here is chapter 14 :D Hope you guys are still enjoying the story. I am going to have a lot of storylines from the TV series but I'm changing them. So major plots from the series may be in this but slightly different. So enjoy. And yes Addison will be making a return. ;) hehehe**

**Remember to keep voting on my poll on weather Mc Baby should be a boy or girl? It's found on my profile. A baby boy is currently in the lead. If you want it to be a girl, Start voting!**

**All rights of this belong to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters; I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 14- Open Your Eyes

Song – Run by Snow Patrol

_Sometimes the impossible just takes a little bit longer ~Melinda Gordon_

"So Derek, how did you two meet?" Derek's mother asked.

"Umm, well…" Derek was lost on words not knowing how to answer the question.

"We meet at the bar across from the hospital." I said taking a bite from my chicken. She seemed slightly surprised by my answer.

"Oh." She said looking at Derek.

"He asked me out." I quickly said, trying not to let our one night stand sound so bad.

"Oh, why you were still with Addison?" she asked taking a sip from her wine.

"We were separated." Derek said feeling the rise of tension. I could feel it too. I was so nervous, I was about to have a panic attack.

"That's not what Addison said." She said raising an eye brow.

"So you would trust my cheating ex-wife's word over mine?" Derek said angry.

"That's not what I meant Derek… It's just it's a lot to take in. That's all." She said with a firm tone.

"I'm more in love with Meredith than I ever was with Addison. And it's not because she is pregnant!" he said placing his arm around me at the table.

"I see." She said taking a bite of her steak.

"It would mean a lot if you could accept this mom." Derek said squeezing my hand tightly.

"I never said I didn't!" she said slightly smiling at me.

"Addison didn't deserve you, I guess." She said resting in her chair.

"Thank you mom." Derek said smiling.

"Are you happy?" She asked.

"Very!" he said kissing me on the cheek.

"Well then, when is my grandchild born?" she asked quickly changing emotions.

"In about 4 and a bit weeks." I said nervously smiling.

"Well, I better go baby shopping soon then." She said smiling at me. "Meredith you can call me Carolyn."

"Nice to finally meet you Carolyn." I said trying not to sound so frightened of her.

"Nice to meet you too." She said smiling and looking at Derek. "So Meredith tell me about yourself?" she asked taking another sip of her wine.

Oh crap! I thought. "I'm an Intern at Seattle Grace with Derek." I said not knowing what to say.

"Do you have any brothers and sisters?" she asked curious.

"Not that I know of." I said nervously looking at Derek to help at any moment.

"What do you mean, not that I know of?" she asked confused.

"Ah, umm well… my father left when I was little and I haven't seen him since, He might have another family. Who knows." I said knowing I should have just closed my mouth. She dropped her fork and her mouth flew open. Derek looked at me worried.

"Oh, you poor child." She said placing her hand on her chest and looking at me. "What about your mother?" she asked wanting to know every little thing about me.

"Alzheimer's." I said taking another bite of my meal.

"Oh." Was all she could say. "Well I'm here." She said smiling.

"Thank you." I awkwardly smiled back.

* * *

"Thank god that's over!" I said lying down on the bed.

"I think it whet better than expected." Derek said taking off his shoes.

"So you expected it to go bad?" I asked annoyed.

"No, I didn't mean that, it's just…she has accepted you Meredith. You are part of the family." He said smiling.

"Oh," I said shocked. "I've never really been part of a real family before." I said getting under the covers.

"You are part of this family." He said placing his hand on my belly. I giggled.

"What names do you like?" I asked randomly.

"Oh." He said taken by surprise. "What kind of names did you have in mind?" he asked getting under the covers with me.

"Umm…well, I like the names Charlotte and Annabelle." I said looking at him. He smiled and snuggled closer.

"I like those names too." He said staring at my stomach. "What about if it's a boy?" he asked turning to look up at me.

"Well, I was thinking of Logan or maybe Oliver." I said placing my hand on my belly.

"I like Logan, But Oliver…I don't know, sounds too hippy, too fruity, like an olive." He said looking up at me.

"Well then! What names do you have in mind Dr Shepherd!" I said slightly annoyed that he made fun of the name Oliver.

"Well… my dad's name was Harrison." He said looking sad.

"I like that name." I said leaning down to kiss him.

"Thanks." He said returning the kiss.

"I love you." He said playing with my hair.

"I know." I said leaning down to snuggle closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him before drifting off into sleep.

* * *

_2 weeks later…_

"So how is maternity leave?" Cristina asked as I called her from the home phone.

"It sucks! I'm so bored. I'm just watching re-runs of Friends and peeing all day." I said pulling the spoon of peanut butter from my mouth.

"Wow, haha. So where is Derek these days?" she asked.

"Surgery." I said jealous.

"Only like two and a half weeks Mer!" she said almost excited.

"Don't remind me." I said sarcastically.

"You should come down for lunch. Don't leave me alone with bambi, Barbie and don't get me started on evil spawn." She said begging.

"I will be glad to get out of this house!" I said slowly getting up. "Will be there in the next hour." I said hanging up and walking over to grab my coat.

Getting in the car was just getting too difficult with my expanding stomach. Only a few more weeks, I told myself while starting the engine.

* * *

"Great." I whispered out loud. There was a huge traffic jam on the high way. Bumper to bumper. I was stuck. Looks like it would take longer than an hour to get to the hospital. "What the hell is taking so long!" I yelled honking the horn. "Seriously!" I yelled throwing my hands in the air. There was no way I could get out of here. I couldn't see any clear spaces ahead. It was crazy. My phone suddenly rang.

"What time will you be here? Bambi is boring me with his love life, which I don't think he has." Cristina said sounding a little annoyed.

"I'm stuck on the main highway, won't be there for a few hours it looks like." I said sighing.

"Is it that bad?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think a truck broke down or something." I said responding.

"Well try and hurry up okay, I'm going murder someone soon." She said hanging up.

I was about to call Derek when I felt the car shake. It trembled. I held on the steering wheel with my life. I heard screaming and sound of cars screeching. The side window glass shattered into a million pieces. Glass went flying in every direction. I was pinned against the wheel. Afraid of what might happen next. I was in shock of what was happening. I felt the road start to give way below me and I knew I had to get out as soon as possible. This was a huge earthquake.

When I unbuckled my seat belt I noticed the car began to lose its placement. It was shifting side to side. I was so close to the car next to me. It was about to smash right into me. I had to get out. I was beginning to panic. I had no idea what was going on. I heard people screaming for help. I quickly opened the door and jumped out as fast as I could hitting the hard gravel.

I was shocked to see my surroundings. Cars everywhere smashed up and destroyed. People lying on the ground some not moving at all. Some people just stood there staring at the scene before us, like I was. Smoke was everywhere and fires were beginning to start. I heard what sounded like an ambulance. But there was only one. It would be hard trying to get another one to this crash site.

"Help!" a young stranger called out. My doctor instinct quickly kicked in and I hurried over to help.

"Hi, I'm Meredith Grey. I'm a doctor." I said walking over to the stranger.

"I'm Michael, my girlfriend is stuck…under the car." He said nervously. I quickly followed him as he took me to where she was laying. She was unconscious. Pinned under the rubble of her car.

"Weak pulse." I said taking my fingers off her neck.

"Can you help her please!" he asked begging.

"I will do my best, but she needs surgery urgently!" I said.

"Okay..." he said scared of what might happen next.

"I need you to apply pressure to her head to stop the bleeding." I told him passing a bandage.

"Okay." He nodded.

"Now I'm…" I said suddenly as my hand clutched my abdomen.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

A stabbing pain hit my stomach and I let out a moan.

"What's happening? Are you okay?" he asked again.

"I think my water broke." I said as I looked at the puddle on the ground.

"Oh crap." He said frightened.

"Oh crap." I repeated. The baby was coming, right in the middle of a disaster. I should have stayed home.

* * *

**Hoped you liked this chapter. The baby is coming OMG ! I need names and for you guys to vote ! any ideas tell me! What do you think of the names they were discussing? What will happen next? REVIEW PLEASE!**

**xxxx**


	15. Close Your Eyes

**Hey guys :D Thanks for all the positive reviews. A girl is in the lead in the poll if mc baby should be a boy or girl. I'm going to reveal the sex of Mc baby in the next chapter so I need you guys to vote quickly. The poll is found on my profile. So vote ASAP! My tumblr is a-white-demon-love-story if you would like to follow me and ask me questions :D **

**All rights of this belong to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters; I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 15- Close Your Eyes

Song- Set Fire To The Third Bar By Snow Patrol

"Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down, when we break down, there's no science, no hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through."

-Meredith Grey

* * *

"What do you want me to do?" the stranger asked panicking.

"Keep applying pressure to her forehead." I said biting my lip through the pain.

"There's too much blood." He said worriedly.

"We need to get her out from under the car." I said starting to panic.

"Will she die?" he asked turning to face me, tears streaming down his face.

"If we don't get her out and into surgery most likely." I said bluntly.

"Some earthquake…" he whispered in pain while trying to lift the car wreckage up.

I just stood there not knowing what to do. "Do you have a pocket knife?" I asked.

"What?" he asked after failing to lift the car off his girlfriend.

"The pressure is building up in her body. We need to relieve that pressure." I said slowly bending down whining in pain.

"Okay." He said quickly feeling through his pockets. "Got one." He said holding it up and passing it to me.

"I can't fit far enough to reach her. You need to make a small incision on her right and left arm as well on both of her legs just above the thigh." I said directing him.

"I cant.." he said panicking.

"Yes you can. You're the only one who can." I said reinsuring him.

"Okay." He said taking in a deep breathe.

"That's it, now to the left arm. Be careful. Okay you are doing a great job." I said as he relieved the pressure built up on her. My hands lunged to my stomach as I kneeled onto the cold surface. The pain was stabbing sensation. It was getting worse every time. I didn't know how much longer I could do this. I just hoped someone would come fast!

"There done. Now what?" he asked.

"I don't know?" I whispered.

"What do you mean you don't know, I thought you said you were a doctor?" he said angrily.

"I am, I'm a surgical intern. I don't know what I can do from here without surgery. I haven't been in this position before." I said.

"Then what do we do." He asked.

"All we can do is wait." I said as another wave of pain hit me and I clutched my stomach and moaned in pain.

"Are you okay? What's happening?" he asked panicking.

"It's just another contraction." I sighed.

"How long do you think till more people come for help?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just hope you know how to deliver a baby." I said looking into his worried eyes.

"I..need to go for help… I can see some people up there, some paramedics." He said getting up.

"Okay, hurry back…" I said realising I didn't know his name.

"Will." He said staring at me.

"Meredith." I said back looking up at him.

"Okay Meredith I'll be right back, look after my girlfriend Hannah and try not to have the baby just yet." He said walking off to get some help.

"Can't make any promises." I whispered as he ran off to find some help.

"My phone." I said in a sudden realisation. Noticing it was still in my pocket.

'10 missed calls.' It read out. I quickly dialled Derek's number.

"Thank god Meredith I was getting so worried." Derek quickly said looking for breath.

"Derek…" I tried to say but he cut me off.

"When Cristina said you were on the highway and with the Earthquake I was panicking and freaking out. You had me so worried. I'm so glad you are okay. Where are you now?" he asked worriedly.

"Derek I'm still on the high way." I said in a deep breath.

"WHAT!" he yelled in panic.

"Derek calm down. I'm just stuck here helping Hannah a young girl who is pinned under a car. Her boyfriend has just gone to get some help…" I couldn't finish my sentence because another contraction just hit me.

"Mer are you okay?" Derek asked freaking out because I didn't finish my sentence.

"Yes, it's just another contraction." I said placing my hand on my abdomen.

"CONTRACTION?" Derek yelled.

"Oh yeah, my water broke." I said into the phone.

"Holy shit. Umm… I'm on my way I will get you." He said panicking.

"No Derek you won't get through. I will be at the hospital soon, I promise. Just wait for me there, Okay?" I said trying to calm him down.

"Mer…"

"It will be fine, Will just went to go and get help, in a matter of fact I can see him coming back with someone now. I will be there soon, Just wait." I said into the phone.

"Okay…" he slowly agreed.

"Love you, I will see you soon." I said as a tear left my eye.

"Love you too." He said still worrying. I hung up. I looked around and I still couldn't see Will, but I couldn't have told Derek that.

"Will.." Hannah breathed between chokes.

"Hannah don't try and talk okay." I said looking into her eyes. She looked so terrified.

"I…cant…breathe." She said chocking on her own blood.

"I know." I said panicking. "Will just went to get some help. He will be back soon okay, so stay with us." I said trying to move closer to her but I only could hold her hand.

"Tell Will that I love him." She said as her eyes began to flutter.

"I won't because you will be here to tell him yourself, okay?" I said looking into her eyes.

"Your…baby." She spat out.

"Will be fine. Someone is coming, so just stay with us." I said squeezing her hand tight.

"O...kay." she said trying not to move. I was really starting to majorly panic. I couldn't see Will and I didn't know how much longer Hannah could hold on. My contractions were getting closer together.

"MEREDITH." I heard someone yelling my name.

"Will." I shouted back. Thank god he was here.

"I've got two paramedics with me." He screamed as he ran and jumped over the rumble on the ground. "They brought the 'Jaws of Life' with them." He said as he reached me.

"Thank god!" I breathed out.

"How's Hannah?" he asked.

"Hanging in there." I said as another contraction hit me.

"What do we have here?" One of the paramedics asked.

"Hannah young female. Serious lacerations to her forehead, arms and legs. Internal bleeding and broken bones." I said as the paramedics opened the car with the Jaws of Life.

"Thank you, now steep back." One of them said as the other one replaced my spot to help Hannah out.

I slowly steep back, moaning in pain.

"One, Two, Three." One of the paramedics said as the Jaws of Life opened the car off her body.

"Got her." The other one said as he dragged her body out. "She's going into cardiac arrest." He said as he placed her body on the gurney.

"Charge to 300." He said as he used an automated external defibrillator.

"No pause." The other man spoke.

"Charge to 350." He said as I looked at Will who began to cry.

"We got her." The man said happily as he brought her back to life.

"Hannah." Will said trying to get close to her.

"She's stable for now." The paramedic spoke while he starting pulling the gurney.

"I have to go with you." Will said as he started to follow the paramedic.

"AHHHH!" I screamed out, as this contraction was the most painful yet. My hands were suddenly placed on my abdomen.

"Are you okay miss?" one of the paramedics asked.

"She's in labour!" Will shouted.

"Get another gurney over here now!" The paramedic shouted.

"Take me to Seattle Grace Hospital!" I screamed in pain.

"Calm down miss." The paramedic said as he slowly helped me onto the gurney.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" I screamed in pain.

"Seattle Grace." The Paramedic told the diver once Hannah and I were both inside the ambulance.

* * *

"DEREK!" I screamed out as the paramedic took me out of the ambulance. He was waiting just outside desperate to see me.

"Meredith!" Derek shouted rushing over towards me.

"Thank god you are okay!" he said in a rush of relief. He kissed my forehead and followed the paramedic inside.

"Hello Meredith." Dr Rushmore said as we greeted her in the hallway.

"I'll take it from here." She told the paramedic. He nodded and left.

"Hannah." I looked up at Derek.

"She will be fine, Burke is working on her." Derek said squeezing my hand.

"Room 4." Dr Rushmore said as she pushed the gurney inside. "Now let's see how far dilated you are." She said smiling.

"Wow six centre meters already!" she said as I laid there in pain.

"I Need Drugs!" I said almost yelling at Derek.

"Okay." He nodded a little frightened and in pain that I was squeezing his hand a liitle to tight.

"Owww." I yelled as another contraction hit me.

"Just a few more hours." Dr Rushmore said smiling while getting me hocked up to all the machinery.

"It hurts!" I said sobbing into Derek's arms.

"I know." He said kissing me on the forehead.

"I will just go and get you some medication for the pain." Dr Rushmore said exiting the room.

"It's a beautiful day to have a baby." Derek said excitedly.

"A little early." I said moaning in pain.

"He's a Shepherd; he's a little faster than all the others." He said smiling.

"He or she, I don't care, I just want the baby out!" I said yelling.

"Try and relax!" he said whipping his hand across my face.

"YOU TRY AND PUSH A BABY OUT THROUGH YOUR VAGINA!" I yelled at him.

"Sorry." He said pouting.

"YES THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT! YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!" I yelled again as another contraction hit me.

"I know." He smiled back proudly.

"AHHHHH." I yelled as a sudden stabbing pain hit my stomach. This was not a contraction. This was the most pain I ever have felt. I was screaming. My pulse was dropping. You could see it on the machine. Not just mine but the baby's as well. I couldn't breathe. Everything started to become foggy.

Derek panicked and pressed the blue button. "NURSE!" he yelled.

"Derek!" Dr Rushmore said as she hurried into the room. "What happened?"

"IT HURTS!" I yelled.

She quickly rushed over to my bedside and pulled the blanket off me.

"OH MY GOD!" Derek said in shock. "Blood!" he said panicking and tears began to fall down his face.

"The …Baby." I breathed out falling unconscious.

"MEREDITH!" Derek yelled shaking my shoulders. My stats were dropping.

"The placenta must have detached." Dr Rushmore she said turning to face Derek. "OR 2 Now!" she yelled at the nurses.

"What's happening?" Derek asked confused and frightened.

"The baby has detached from the placenta. It's loosing oxygen and causing Meredith to bleed internally." Dr Rushmore said rushing the gurney onto the elevator, and just leaving Derek standing there, not sure of what to do.

* * *

**Sorry about another cliff hanger. How did you like this Chapter? A girl is in the lead now. SO VOTE NOW! Because next chapter will show the sex of the baby :D Still need ideas on the names. Oh and the 'Jaws of life' it what is used to open cars up in accidents to save them if you didn't know what that was. Until the next chapter xxxx.**


	16. Make This Go On Forever

**Thanks for all your positive reviews and to the people who inspire me to write more. This wouldn't be possible without you guys thanks so much xoxo. This chapter was interesting and emotional to write. Here is Chapter 16 :D I suggest you guys listen to the songs dedicated to each chapter. They are great and really fit well with the storyline! **

**All rights of this belong to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters; I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 16- Make This Go On Forever

Song- In My Veins by Andrew Belle

**"Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. Live or die. Hero or coward. Fight or give in. I'll say it again to make sure you hear me. The human life is made up of choices. Live or die. That's the important choice. And it's not always in our hands."**  
-Derek Shepherd

* * *

**Dereks POV**

I couldn't breathe. It was like all of the oxygen is the world had been entirely consumed. The love of my life and my child were dying. And I couldn't do a thing about it. It had happened so fast. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. It was my entire fault. If I stayed at home today with her this wouldn't have happened! She wouldn't have been in labour in the middle of a disaster and she wouldn't be fighting for her life! I should have told her how much I loved her. How she was the most important thing in my life. That a life without her wasn't a life I wanted to live. I needed her, she was my oxygen. I couldn't breathe without her. She needed to live. I needed her to live. I couldn't think about losing them both. If they went, so would I.

"DEREK!" Cristina yelled running towards me. "What happened?" she asked.

"The placenta detached." I whispered leaning against the wall as tears streamed down my face.

"What? I…I don't understand?" she whispered taking in my emotions.

"She's bleeding internally." I said hiding my face in my hands.

"She's going to be fine! She's Meredith." Christina said trying not to lose control of her emotions. She walked over towards me and sat down on the floor besides me. Placing her hand in mine to comfort me. I squeezed it.

"Cristina, Derek!" Izzie yelled running over to us with George following behind.

"Mer?" George whispered. Cristina nodded back.

"Holy Jesus." Izzie whispered.

"What happened?" George asked in shock.

"The placenta detached." Cristina whispered not looking at George.

"She is going to be okay. We are all going to be okay. This Is Meredith Grey we are talking about! She can live through anything. She is a survivor George! We are all survivors!" Izzie said grabbing George by the shoulders and looking into his eyes.

"You don't know that people die all the time." George said as water began to swell in his eyes.

"I know that we will get through this. We always do! Meredith will be okay. We all will be okay! She is going to have a healthy baby. Everything is going to be fine!" Izzie said shouting.

I couldn't stand this for much longer. I was getting more anxious as time was passing. I needed my Meredith. "I have to go. I have to see her." I said getting up.

"Derek you can't do anything!" Cristina said getting up and grabbing me by the shoulders.

"I love her." I breathed out.

"She's my person." Cristina said still holding me back.

"She's my soul mate." I said staring into her eyes.

"I know." She whispered.

"I was going to ask her to marry me." I said grabbing the ring box from my pocket. "I was just waiting for the right time. I can't lose her." I said deeply. Her hand dropped from my shoulder. I looked at her and headed for the elevator.

* * *

**Merediths POV**

You can never expect it. The end. You never see it coming. It's totally unexpected. The line between life and death, you can't see it, so how can you decide which road to take.

I couldn't breathe, my baby couldn't breathe. We were both dying. "My…baby." I choked out as they were about to put me under.

"I will save you both. Everything is going to be fine." Dr Rushmore said trying to soothe me.

"Save my…baby...first." I choked out before the anesthetic put me under.

* * *

**Dr Rushmore POV**

"Clamp." I said out loud.

"Stats dropping." A nurse said.

"I can't stop the bleeding!" I yelled out loud in frustration.

"Still dropping." The nurse yelled.

"Come on Meredith." I yelled as I was trying to stop the bleeding.

"There, got it." I sighed.

"Pressure returning back to normal." The nurse yelled.

"Okay. Let's deliver this baby." I said out loud. "Clamp" I said holing my hand out.

* * *

"One, two three." I said delivering the baby.

"She's not breathing." I said as I passed her to the nurse.

"Grey's Stats are dropping again." The other nurse called out.

"Get me four units of packed cells." I yelled at the intern.

"Come on Meredith." I said out loud. "There is a new source of bleeding. I can't find the source." I said panicking.

"Dropping increasing." She called out.

"Come on Meredith. Live." I yelled out at her.

Where is it?" I yelled annoyed.

"Found it!" I yelled relieved.

"Where is the blood I asked for?" I screamed.

"Here it is." The intern said passing it to the nurse.

"Stats still dropping." The nurse said.

"I don't understand! I stopped the bleeding." I yelled frustrated.

"She's flatling doctor!" the nurse yelled.

"Start compressions!" I yelled. I could hear a loud cry coming from behind me.

"She's breathing." The other nurse yelled.

At least the baby was alive. "Come on Meredith." I yelled as I stated CPR. "Charge to 300." I yelled.

* * *

**Dereks POV **

It's been four hours and I still haven't heard anything. Not a word. I couldn't stand it any longer. They wouldn't let me in there. I tried but I couldn't get in. I couldn't tell her how much I love her.

"She's going to be fine. Any minute now. You'll see." Christina said waiting anxiously with me in the waiting room.

"I can't lose them. " I whispered in fear.

"Anything?" Alex said walking over to us.

"Nothing." Izzie said tearing up.

I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to hold them in my arms. To know that they were safe.

"Derek." Cristina said shaking my shoulder.

"Dr Rushmore!" I yelled and sprinted towards her. "How are they?" I asked short of breath.

"Derek." She said placing her hands in front of me to calm me down.

"How…are…they?" I asked nervously, not knowing if I wanted to know the answer.

"When we got in there Meredith stats were low, she was barely breathing. The internal bleeding was worse than originally thought. When the baby was delivered she flat lined. We gave her four units of packed cells and started with compressions. After about fifteen minutes her heartbeat returned to normal and her stats increased. She is stable and is currently in the ICU. Congratulations you have a healthy baby girl." Dr Rushmore said looking deeply at me.

"She's going to be okay?" I asked.

"She's going to be fine." Dr Rushmore said placing her hand on my shoulder.

"OH THANK GOD!" I yelled as my legs fell to the ground. I just started crying. Crying of joy, that Meredith and our daughter were safe!

"Thank you Doctor Rushmore!" Cristina said also crying with relief.

"Thanks so much!" Izzie said jumping and hugging Dr Rushmore.

"Don't break her Iizzie!" Alex yelled. "Thanks." He said shaking Dr Rushmores hand.

"Can we see her?" George asked.

"Yes you can. Only three at a time tho." Dr Rushmore said smiling and slowly exiting.

I was so happy at this moment words could not describe the emotions that I was being bombarded with.

"Let's go!" Cristina said helping me up.

* * *

"Meredith." I whispered as we entered her room. It was silent. Except for the machines she was plugged into.

"I'll give you some privacy." Cristina said leaving the room.

"Thanks." I said behind me.

"Thank you for not dying." I said walking over to her and planting a kiss to her lips.

"We have a daughter." I said squeezing her hand. "I haven't seen her yet, but I'm going to soon, they are just running a few tests first." I said playing with her hair.

"You are going to be a great mom." I said looking deeply at her.

"I hope I can be a good dad." I said placing one of her hairs behind her ear. I grabbed the closest seat and placed it right next to her bed, resting my head on her lap. I held her hand in mine and slowly drifted off.

* * *

I felt something smooth touching my head. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up.

"Meredith!" I breathed in surprise.

"Hi." She said slightly in pain while playing with my hair.

I shot straight up and kissed her everywhere.

"Derek." She giggled.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" I said kissing her passionately.

"I won't. I promise." She said taking in my scent.

"Good!" I said smiling happily at her.

"The baby!" she said in realisation panic.

"She is healthy. I'm going to see her soon." I said smiling at her.

"She?" Meredith said in surprise.

"A healthy baby girl. Our little princess." I said smiling with joy.

"A little girl." She said starting to cry.

"Oh Mer." I said hugging her.

"I want to see her." Meredith said sobbing.

"I know. You will. I promise." I said kissing her.

**Ahhh it's a little girl how cute. Thanks to everyone who voted :D a girl won in the poll. Sorry if you wanted a boy. Maybe their next one will be a boy…. Hummm :) Any name ideas? How did you like the chapter? REVIEW for faster updates! xxxx**


	17. Welcome To The World

**Once again guys, I would like to thank you all for all the positive reviews and suggestions. Your reviewing means a lot to me so thank you xxx 3 I have my best friend's birthday party, a Film & TV assignment and a English monologue, oh and don't forget my Biology experiment sheets and my math homework and an Ancient History exam to study for :C all to do this weekend :C Don't you guys just love high school -.- I hate being in grade 11, which is second last year of high school here in Australia. I won't be able to update till next weekend: C but if I get a lot of reviews I might be able to squeeze in another chapter this week ;). Here is Chapter 17! Enjoy :D **

**All rights of this belong to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters; I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 17- Welcome To The World

Song- Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that it's happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away. ~ Meredith Grey

* * *

**Meredith's POV**

To think that my life has changed so much in the last year would be an understatement! A year ago, I was graduating from med school, wanting to travel the world. Going to parties, getting drunk, sleeping with various men. To think, here I am a year later, a surgeon, in a serious relationship, having a daughter, being a mother. A year ago I would have thought that this reality would ever happen? I never would have thought that I would have a family. But I did, and I couldn't be happier.

"What does she look like?" I asked as Derek walked in. I was beyond anger that they wouldn't let me see her yet.

"She's perfect!" Derek said with a proud smile on his face. I almost cried. He got to see her and I couldn't! It was so unfair!

"She has your eyes." He said bending down to kiss my forehead.

"She does?" I sobbed.

"She's beautiful. Just like her mummy." He said wiping the tears as the fell down my cheeks.

"I really want to meet her Derek!" I said placing my hand on his chest.

"I know! You will soon, I promise!" he said smiling his Mc Dreamy smile at me.

"You know if you ever try to die again, I will kill you myself!" Cristina said walking into my room.

"Good to see you too." I said smirking.

"I will talk to the doctor about you seeing her, okay?" Derek said kissing me again. He stopped at the door way out to get another glance of me. He placed his hand on Cristina's shoulder and whispered what I thought was a 'Thank You'. She smiled politely back. I waved gracefully as he left my room.

"So how was it?" she asked sitting on the end of my bed munching on some chips.

"What do you mean?" I asked a little confused.

"Dying? What was it like? Did you see a bright shining light?" she asked sarcastically.

"I don't remember. All I remember is feeling cold." I said slowly pulling myself up in a sitting position.

"Be careful you just had surgery!" Cristina said annoyed.

"I feel fine! I just want to see her." I sighed.

"You don't want to see me? I see how it is." She said crossing her arms slightly annoyed.

"I just had a baby if you hadn't realised? I haven't even seen her yet! No offence." I said slightly in pain.

"I know. She looks like a shrimp, a cute shrimp tho. She looks like Derek, with all that hair. She has your nose tho, thank god for that!" she said continuing munching on her chips.

"What? You've seen her?" I asked surprised.

"What else was I going to do why you and Derek were having alone time?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

"Everyone has seen her but me!" I screamed out annoyed.

"Calm down Mer!" Cristina said placing her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm a mother now. I don't do calm!" I said angry.

"Just relax, you will see her. Even if I have to sneak you in myself!" she said looking into my eyes.

"You would do that?" I asked.

"Deh! I'm the godmother, remember!" she said rolling her eyes.

"How can I forget!" I said laughing at her.

"Pssss Cristina." Izzie said knocking on the door.

"What Barbie?" Cristina replied.

"Come here for a minute." She said motioning her head behind the door.

"Fine!" Cristina said sighing. "Someone better be dying!" She walked behind the door with Izzie to have a hush conversation that I tried to listen onto.

"Really?" was all I could hear Cristina say from behind the door.

"Dereks on his way now with the nurse." I could hear Izzie say. "Shhh it's a surprise." She said. I was so confused. What the hell were they talking about? What about Derek? What nurse? Could they just break the tension already?

"Here he comes." Izzie said moving back inside my room with Cristina with a huge grin on her face.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You'll see." Was all she could say? I hated suspense! This was so frustrating!

"Meredith." Derek said sprinting to the door.

"Yes!" I jumped up in my bed with panic.

"Meet our daughter." He said as the nurse wheeled in a small hospital cot with a new born baby inside. He followed the nurse protectively behind, until she reached my bed. The nurse slowly picked up the baby and my arms stretched out for her. She was slowly placed in my arms with Derek watching our every move. She was so unreal. Everything was so unreal. She was perfect! Just like Derek said she was. She had my brilliantly blue eyes, Derek's dark curly hair which was a light chocolate brown rather than his black. He nose was tiny and cute. She had ten perfect fingers and toes. She was our little princess. I kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Hello little girl." I said holding her little hand in mine. "She is perfect." I said turning to Derek. He smiled a proud smile and kissed us both on our foreheads.

"A perfect little family." He whispered staring into my eyes.

"That's our queue to leave." Izzie said dragging Cristina behind her.

"Thank you." I said smiling at them. They smiled and nodded before shutting the door closed behind them.

"Well this little princess needs a name." Derek said getting onto the bed with me and wrapping his arms protectively around us.

"Do you have any ideas?" he asked placing his finger in her hand while she squeezed it.

"Charlotte." I said smiling as I looked at her.

"She definitely looks like a Charlotte." He said smiling at the name.

"I was thinking of Cristina as her middle name?" I asked Derek.

"Charlotte Cristina. I like the sound of that. CC for short." He smiled looking down at our daughter.

"Charlotte Cristina Shepherd." I said smiling at the thought. Our daughters name was perfect!

"Thank you." He said holding me tighter against him. "Charlotte Cristina Shepherd." He said out loud. He smiled at the thought of it. "Perfect!" he whispered.

"Perfect!" I whispered back kissing him on the cheek. We both looked down on our Charlotte, taking in the moment.

* * *

"I guess a congratulation is in order." Bailey said entering the room with the chief.

"Thank you." Derek said smiling.

"What is her name if I may ask?" the chief asked.

"Oh what's her name?" George said as he sprinted into the room.

"George why couldn't you just wait up!" Izzie asked puffed as she stumbled behind George.

"Yeah seriously George it's only a baby. It's a hospital, there are heaps. We aren't going to run out." Cristina said a little annoyed.

"Out of my way." Alex said breaking through the crowd that stood before us.

"So…" the Chief said.

"What?" I asked.

"The name." they all said in sync.

"Oh." I said realising what they were waiting for. "Guys this is Charlotte Cristina Shepherd." I said with a big proud grin.

"Cristina?" Cristina asked in shock.

"Well you are the god mother." I said giggling.

"Holy crap Mer!" She said still suspired.

"AWWW." Izzie said tearing up.

"It's beautiful!" The chief said nodding in approval.

"She's so tiny?" Alex said squinting to see her properly.

"Shes a baby Alex. You have seen one before right?" George asked.

"I'm not an idiot! She just so… little." Alex said smug.

"Well I think she is perfect!" George said smiling.

"Well we better leave the parents to it. Come on those rounds won't do themselves!" Bailey said pointing to the door.

"We'll see you later." Izzie said exiting with George and Alex.

"I will see you soon, Thanks Mer." Cristina said before chasing after Izzie.

"Congratulations again." Bailey said exiting with the chief.

"Alone at least." Derek said exhausted.

"Well…not quite." I said looking down at Charlotte.

"I guess we will never be alone again." He said staring at me.

"I guess so." I said meeting his gaze.

"I love you." He said kissing me passionately on the lips.

"I love you." I said returning the kiss.

"And I love you." Derek said bending down to kiss Charlotte on the head. This moment right here was perfect.

* * *

**I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it's a little short. I just wanted to end this chapter like this. Next chapter will be longer, promise! What do you guys think of Mc Baby's name? What do you want to see happen next? How do you like where the story is heading. How many kids should MerDer have? Marriage? What should happen with Addison, Meredith's mom and Dereks, or even mark and Lexie? Should they come into the Story. Review and tell me! xxx **


	18. Morning Light

**Here is chapter 18 :D. Did you guys watch that latest Grey's episode? It was amazing! I had a feeling Mc Baby #2 was going to be a boy :D so excited. Season 9 is amazing. I'm hoping that there will be a few more seasons. Fingers crossed! Anyway enough of my little fan girl moment and onto the story. My storyline of the main plots in the series happens a little differently. Some of the main plots may occur but in different times and suitations. Remember to review and suggest some ideas for my story, I might just do it ;)**

**All rights of this belong to shonda rhimes and the show Grey's Anatomy. I don't own the characters; I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 18- Morning Light

Song – Love is a Fire by Courrier

When I was in grade school, they told me to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up.  
I wrote down happy.  
They told me I didn't understand the assignment,  
I told them they didn't understand life- Unknown

* * *

_2 weeks later…_

"How was work?" I asked as Derek entered the kitchen.

"Paper work. Too much." He said sighing and grabbing a cold beer from the fridge. "Missed you." He said walking over to kiss me lightly on the cheek. "How was your day?" he asked sitting down at the table bench facing me while taking a sip of his beer.

"Well...I had to change my T-shirt three times from baby vomit. I changed too many dirty dippers! I'm tired and exhausted. It took me hours to finally get Charlotte to settle down." I said letting out a sigh.

"Well I'm here now." Derek said smiling his Mc Dreamy smile.

"I know." I said returning the smile.

"How many bedrooms do you want?" he asked taking another sip of his beer.

"What?" I asked a little confused by his question.

"The house. I'm meeting with the contractor this weekend to start on the building." He said grinning.

"Oh." Was all that escaped my lips.

"So?" he asked raising an eye brow.

"Well… I don't know. Four?" I said just picking a random number.

"So you want three kids?" he asked teasing.

His response took me by shock. I just had a baby and he wanted more.

"Huh…" I said taking a sip of my water.

"I guess we could always convert the office into another room, if we decide to have more." He said laughing.

"Very funny!" I said slapping his arm lightly.

"We are all alone." He said getting up to kiss me.

"Yes. Alex, George and Izzie are at Joes." I said raising an eyebrow.

"Why are we taking then." He said picking me up. I giggled with delight. He raced me towards the stairs kissing me everywhere.

"Derek." I said giggling.

"Mmmm." He said kissing me neck. He smelt so good. I kissed him deep with passion. He tasted so good as well. I wanted him. I wanted every bit of him. To explore every bit of him all over again.

The sounds of an infant cry broke through. "Awww." I said pouting.

"I'll get her." Derek said kissing me lightly. He let me down and started to walk the rest of the way up the stairs. I sighed and slowly followed behind.

"Hey Charlotte Bear, what's wrong?" he said picking her up and cuddling her into his chest. "There, there." He said gently patting her back. She stopped crying. I leaned against the doorframe looking at how lucky I was. I was just watching him cuddling her and kissing her. It was beautiful.

"I think she just wanted her daddy." I said smiling.

"Yeah?" he said turning to face me. Still cuddling Charlotte.

"She missed you." I said walking over towards them.

"I missed her too." He said kissing the top of her head.

I walked over and stood beside them grabbing Derek's arm and kissing his shoulder. Derek extended his arms out to cradle her in front of us both.

"Hey baby girl." I said grabbing her teddy bear and making it dance in front of her. Derek giggled. She let out a loud yawn in a perfectly formed circle. "Awww." Both Derek and I said in sync.

"Someone's a little tired aren't they?" Derek said making goo goo faces at Charlotte.

"Oh yes they are." I said kissing her forehead. Derek slowly placed her back in her cot. I pulled the blanket onto her and snuggled her in. She yawned again before closing her eyes. Derek pulled me beside him and kissed my forehead as we watched our daughter sleep peacefully.

* * *

"I want to hold her!" George yelled at Izzie.

"Wait your turn George." Izzie said making baby faces at Charlotte while she layed in her arms.

"She's not a doll." Alex said walking into the kitchen biting into a piece of toast.

"How long until you are back at work?" George asked making funny faces in front of Charlotte.

"4 weeks." I said sighing at the fact I had to return back to work.

"You only get 6 weeks?" Izzie asked shocked.

"Sadly." I said looking at Charlotte. I couldn't stand being away from her.

"That sucks!" Alex said steeling my coffee.

"Well at least there is the nursery at the hospital. You can see her whenever you have a break." George said turning to face me.

"Yeah, I guess." I said pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"How are we all today?" Derek asked walking down the stairs.

"Kill me now!" Alex said sarcastically.

"And how we?" Derek asked placing his finger in Charlotte's hand. She squeezed it tight.

"Good." I said smiling.

"I wish I didn't have to work today." Derek said sighing.

"We do too!" I said kissing him on the lips.

"Gross!" Alex said walking out the front door.

"Have a great day!" Derek said kissing us both and smiling.

"Save some lives!" I yelled out to him as he opened the front door and walked outside.

"I guess we better go too." Izzie said slowly handing Charlotte to me.

"See ya later Mer." George said waving goodbye with Izzie as they exited.

"I guess it's just you and me." I said kissing Charlotte's little hand.

* * *

"How's motherhood going?" Cristina asked while we were talking on the phone.

"So far so good." I said shaking up a bottle for Charlotte.

"Lost your mind of boredom yet?" she asked.

"No I'm still quite sane." I said feeding charlotte in my arms while I sat down.

"Pity." She said sighing.

"Nothing interesting happening at the hospital?" I asked.

"Nah, just all boring cases." She said sounding annoyed.

"I could come in for a visit? I'm just feeding charlotte and I really don't want to do the washing." I said patting Charlotte on the back, letting her burp.

"Remember what happened last time you just wanted to come in for a visit? You went into labour, and almost died!" she said pointing out a fact.

"Almost." I said giggling.

"Well, if you want. Barbie is driving me crazy with all her positivity on life. It sickens me." Cristina said sighing.

"After I put Charlotte down for a nap I will come over for lunch." I said not wanting to do any house work today.

"Cool." She said hanging up.

"Want to see daddy and Aunty Cristina today?" I asked looking at Charlotte as I cradled her in my arms.

"We will just have a short nap first cus mummy is tired and I'm sure you are too." I said kissing her head. I held her tighter and headed up stairs for an afternoon nap.

* * *

"You're here!" Cristina yelled running over to meet me at the nurses' station.

"I was getting bored and literally going insane. I haven't talked to any adults in the last five hours!" I said walking over to the elevators with Cristina.

"How is my god child by the way?" She asked as we stepped into the elevator.

"Sleeping." I said looking down at her cradling in the sling that was connected to me.

"She is going to make a perfect little surgeon." Cristina said looking at me.

"She can be whatever she wants to be," I said turning to face her.

"Can't deny it. It's in her DNA. She's going to be a surgeon. Just like her parents." She said giggling.

"God help us then." I said laughing.

"Does Derek know you're here?" she asked as the elevator binged.

"Nope. It's a surprise." I said winking.

"Oh. Well you go and be a little cute family then." She said sarcastically.

"We will!" I said getting off the elevator.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked as she didn't follow behind me.

"I have a surgery to scrub in for. Trauma just came in. Score for Yang!" she said as the elevator doors closed.

"Well, have fun!" I yelled out. Charlotte started stirring. "Oh sorry Charlotte bear, didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep." I said rocking her gently.

I spotted Derek heading in our direction. "Look its daddy!" I said looking down at Charlotte.

"Meredith?" Derek asked confused.

"Surprise." I said walking up to him.

"And to what do I owe the unexpected visit?" he asked kissing me on the check.

"Boredom." I said looking at him.

"Hungry?" he asked smiling.

"Starving." I said as my eyes widened.

"Charlotte?" he asked peering down to look at her.

"Fast asleep." I said bending down to kiss her forehead.

"Hey boo." Derek said lightly creasing his finger across her face.

"Let's go." He said as I held my hand in his and walked down the hallway together.

* * *

"Dang it I have a consult." Derek said getting up from the cafeteria table.

"That sucks!" I said sadly.

"Yeah I was enjoying myself!" he said sighing as he looked at Charlotte and I.

"We can come again tomorrow. Besides I have a check-up tomorrow." I said slowly getting up being careful not to wake up Charlotte.

"Check up?" Derek asked curious.

"Yeah my two week check-up. To see if everything is still okay after Charlotte." I said pulling a piece of hair behind my ear. "Every pregnant women has to." I said not wanting to worry Derek over nothing.

"Okay, sounds like a good idea." He said walking over to my side.

"Yeah." I said smiling.

"My office 3pm?" he asked.

"Sure. My appointment is at 4pm. So we have some time to waste beforehand." I said kissing him goodbye on the lips.

"See you guys' later then." he said kissing both of our foreheads.

"Bye." I said waving as he walked towards the nurses' station.

"Now what to do?" I asked turning my head down to face Charlotte knowing she wouldn't answer me because she was fast asleep.

"I know. Let's go and see if we can find Izzie or George." I said nuzzling her little hand.

* * *

"Seriously where is everyone?" I said sighing out loud. I couldn't find George or Izzie anywhere. Cristina was in surgery and Derek was with a patient. I was getting bored. I was pacing around in front of the surgery board. I wish I could perform a surgery right now. I was really in the cutting mood.

"You do know the waiting room is that way." A hansom stranger said standing beside me pointing to the left.

"Oh, I'm not a patient. I work here. Well…not at the moment. I'm on leave. But I still work here." I said stumbling on my words he had caught me by surprise.

"Oh. Okay then." Was all that he said. His hands were in his pockets as he intensely stared at the OR board.

"Can I help you?" I asked raising an eye brow. "You don't work here do you?" I asked.

"No I don't. I was looking for someone actually. I thought they might have been in surgery. But it doesn't look like he is." He said sighing.

"So what brings you here Mr Mc Mysterious?" I asked seriously.

"Work. Personal stuff as well. But mostly work." He said winking at me.

"Did you just wink at me?" I asked madly.

"Maybe." He said smiling and winking again.

"Stop it." I said firmly.

"Stop what?" he said innocently.

"Winking at me!" I said pointing my finger at him.

"Have no idea what you are talking about." He said sighing.

"I have a boyfriend!" I said angry.

"That hasn't stopped me before." He said winking again.

"I have a daughter." I said pointing down to Charlotte who was till fast asleep.

"So?" He said laughing.

"So! Seriously what is wrong with you!" I said annoyed.

"Nothing." He said shaking his head.

"What do you want?" I asked sighing. "Seriously!"

"Me and you in my hotel room." He said winking again.

"I don't like you!" I said almost about to walk away.

"Pity." He said turning around to face me. "I'll be here for a few more days. Got a big case."

"Lucky I'm still on leave then." I said raising my eye brow.

"What's you name anyway then?" he asked smiling.

"Why should I tell you? You may be a serial killer?" I said smuttily.

"Me? Mark Sloan a serial Killer? Not possible." He said shaking his head and laughing.

"Bye Serial killer Mark Sloan." I said walking away. He was such an ass. A sexy ass. But an ass.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Any comments so far? What do you guys think about Mark turning up. Will Derek be pissed? What do you guys want to see happen next? REVIEW ! xxxx**


	19. These Broken Hands Of Mine

**Here is Chapter 19 :D Sorry for the longish update been spending my time studying for 2 Biology Exams, which I'm 99.9% sure I failed and various assignments. I which we could have a subject where we just wrote fanfiction! Word of advise do don't take Biology if you aren't a genius. I like it, but its really hard! Especially Senior Biology. Sorry for ranting on just hate life atm. Anyway on with the story :) Had a little trouble with writers block for this chapter so I hope you like it. I do really recommend listening to the songs posted before each chapter, they are amazing!**

******All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Greys anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 19 – These Broken Hands Of Mine

Song- Static Waves by Andrew Belle and Katie Herzig

"Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart."  
―Haruki Murakami

* * *

"This is strange, no one is home yet." I said out loud as I closed the door shut slowly behind me, trying not to wake Charlotte up. "Izzie, George, Alex." I called out. No one answered.

"Lets get you to bed." I said looking down at Charlotte. It was quite and that wasn't common in this house hold.

I walked up stairs still a little surprised that no one was home. I opened Charlotte's bedroom door and flicked on the light. I let out a sigh. So much has changed in such a short period of time.I walked over to Charlotte's cot and slowly pulled her sheets back. "There we go." I said slowly pulling her away from me. Her hand was stuck to my t-shirt with her little fist. I slowly pulled her hand away and kissed it gently. "Night little angle." I said snuggling her into her crib and kissing her forehead.

* * *

I sat on the couch turning on the TV while I had a sip of my wine. I sunk into the couch soaking up the peace and quite. I slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

I slowly awoke when a pair of muscular hands placed me down on a soft surface.

"Derek..." I moned as my eyes slowly flickered open.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." he said sitting sitting down on the bed next to me. "I just didnt want to to get a bad back from falling asleep on the couch."

"Thanks." I said rubbing my eyes and slowly beginning to sit up straight.

"Your home." I said smiling.

"Yeah, a long shift." he said yawning.

I lent over to give him a kiss. "Slightly better now?" I asked smiling.

"Slightly." he said giving his Mc Dreamy smile.

I snuggled under the covers with him as he wrapped his arms around me kissing me on the neck as we said goodnight.

* * *

"Your turn." I said still sleepy as I heard Charlotte cry.

"I did, yesterday." He moned back still half asleep.

"Still your turn." I said back trying to get as much sleep as possible.

"I worked late." he breathed as he turned to face the other side.

"I died giving birth to her." I said arguing back.

"You win this time." he said slowly getting up.

"I always do." I moned back as I hid under the covers.

"Lets go and wake up Mummy!" I heard Derek say as he walked back into the bedroom with Charlotte in his arms.

"Noo." I said trying to hide under the covers.

"Here we go." Derek said lying Charlotte on the sheets next to me. She started making noices with her mouth and kicking her feet in the air.

"Fine." I said slowly getting up from under the sheets.

"Hey Baby Girl." I said trying not to sound so tired. She lifted her hand up in the air in response. Derek layed down next to us pulling a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Love you." he said.

"Love you." I said poking my tounge out at him.

"I think someone is hungry." Derek said as Charlotte began to fuss.

"Yes, because I'm now the human cow." I said lightly punching his arm.

"A very pretty one if I may say so." he said creasing my face.

"Ha very funny!" I said picking up Charlotte. "Your hungry aren't you?" I said placing my finger on her nose. She squeezed my hand in response. "Good thing you don't have teeth yet." I said as I began to breast feed her. Derek laughed.

* * *

It was 10.00am and I was headed towards Dereks Office with Charlotte strapped to my side when I bumped into a familiar stranger.

"Wow twice in one week, how lucky am I." he said laughing.

"You got to be serious!" I said folding my arms.

"What? Don't you like me? I've been told I'm very good company." he said laughing and winking at me again.

"Not at the moment." I said trying to escape his presence.

"I never did quiet catch your name?" he said smiling.

"And You're not going to!" I said beginning to walk away.

"Meredith!" I heard someone call my name.

"Izzie." I said as she ran up to me.

"So you do have a name then. Meredith." He said smiling.

"Who are you?" izzie asked confused.

"Mark Sloan. Dr Mark Sloan." He said holding his hand out.

"Dr Izzie Stevens. Nice to meet you." She said shaking his hand.

"You're a lot nicer than your friend here." He said looking at me.

"Mer is a little dark and twisty dont let that bother you." she said laughing.

"Izzie!" I said annoyed.

"Wait...Shouldnt you be in Dereks office now?" she asked slightly confused.

"I was on my way up there when I was suddenly interupted." I said eyeing Mark.

"So you guys know each other?" Izzie asked pointing to Mark.

"Nope. Hes a totally stranger." I said walking to Izzie side.

"A total hot stranger." she whispered in my ear.

"Well..you guys can talk, I have to go and see Derek okay?" I said patting Izzie shoulder.

"Derek?' Mark suddenly said in shock.

"Yeah, Dr Derek Shepherd why?' Izzie said.

"You guys know him?" he asked susprised.

"He lives with us." Izzie said laughing. "Why? Do you know him?" Izzie said confused.

"He used to be my best friend actually..." Mark said sighing.

"Ohh really! I'm sure he would love to catch up. Wouldnt he Meredith?" Izzie said turning to me.

"How would I know?" I said lighly annoyed at that fact Izzie wouldnt let me leave this conversation.

"Well.. hes your boyfriend deh!" she said laughing.

"BOYFRIEND?" Mark said in shock with his mouth wide open.

"Yeah they have a kid, see." Izzie said pointing to a sleeping Charlotte in my arms.

"Holy shit!" Mark said outloud. I covered Charlottes ears even tho I knew she was asleep.

"Watch your language please." I said annoyed.

"Wow, umm sorry, its just that a lot has changed." he said still in shock.

"You could say that again!" izzie said laughing. We both stared at her. She suddenly stopped laughing.

"What is it that you wanted Izzie?" I asked.

"What did you want for dinner. I'm cooking. My treat." She said smiling.

"Serioulsy?" I said annoyed.

"Yes..." she said slightly confused.

"Ummm...chicken." I said wanting to get out.

"Cool." she said smiling.

"I'm late. Derek will be wondering where I am." I said walking away.

"See you at home tonight." she yelled as I entered the elevator.

"Wow." I heard Mark say again as the elevator dinged and closed.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late got held up." I said as I entered Derek's office.

"I know the feeling." he said picking Charlotte up from me.

"How are my two favourite ladies?" he asked kissing Charlotte on the forehead.

"Good actually." I said smiling.

"thats good." he said smiling.

"Ready for my appointment?" I asked smiling.

"Sure thing." he said grabing his coat as we walked outside of his office.

* * *

"Everything seems to be in order." Dr Rushmore said as she examined me.

"So I'm perfectally fine?" I said sitting up on the chair.

"Yes!" she said smiling.

"So nothing to worry about?" Derek asked holding Charlotte in his arms.

"She's good. Wont be giving us a scare like that again..." she said looking at me.

"I promice." I said smiling.

"Good." she said smiling. "How is little miss Charlotte?" She asked looking at Derek.

"She's good. Only up for half the night." Derek said laughing.

"Thats good to hear. Shes a cute little one. A perfect mixture of you both." Dr Rushmore said smiling.

"She's Perfect!" Derek said proudly. I nooded and smiled.

"Well I think this is goodbye for awhile. Call if you need anything." Dr Rushmore said smiling and giving a pat on the shoulder.

"Thank you." I said smiling.

"Thank you." Derek said smiling at us both.

"No worries." she said opening the door for us. "Good luck." she said closing the door as we exited.

* * *

"You ready for lunch?" Derek asked as we walked hand in hand.

"Yes." I said smiling. Charlotte was pulling on Dereks hair and trying to eat it.

"Ouch." Deek said out loud.

"Be careful bub. Daddys hair isnt food." I said slowly pulling her hand out of Dereks hair.

"I think she is hungry too." Derek said laughing.

"I think so too!" I said laughing. Suddenly Derek froze his mouth wide open.

"Derek what is it?" I asked confused as to why he froze.

"Mark!" he bitterly said through his teeth.

"What about him?" I asked.

"Derek." Mark suddenly said as he saw us. He looked both scared and suspried.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Derek said angily.

"Apparenlty work." I said as we stared at him.

"How do you know?" Derek asked susprised on ho I knew Mark.

"Bumped into him with Izzie this morning." I said looking at Derek. He looked beyond pissed.

"What? You talked to him?" Derek asked mad.

"I have no idea whats going on Derek. Since when can't I talk to people?" I asked slightly annoyed.

"He was my best friend. He sleeped with Addison." Derek said angily.

"What? He? With...? He's the Mark you were talking about?" I said shocked.

"Yep. The one and only." he said eyeing Mark as he walked towards us.

"Oh No." I said as I knew what was about to happen.

"Hold Charlotte Mer." He said.

"No Derek." I said.

"Meredith can you please hold Charlotte." he said passing her to me. I could see he was extreamly angry. If I was Mark I would run right now.

"Hey Derek." Mark said as he came before us. Derek didn't hesitate he swung his fist in the air and smacked Mark right in the Jaw. He went down.

"Stay the hell away from me and my family!" Derek yelled at Mark who was moaning on the ground in pain. Derek grabed my arm and quickly hurried off with me. I turned around to see that nurses hurrying to his rescue. Derek slowly slowed down to normal speed as charlotte began to cry.

"Its okay Derek." I said as I placed my hand on his check as we stopped outside his office.

* * *

**I hoped you liked that chapter. I'm thinking of adding Lexie in soon? What do you think? What should happen next? REVIEW! xxxx**


	20. Guiding Light

**Hey guys I would just like to thank you all for your reviews :D the more the reviews the faster the update. I went to go and see the script Live last night and it was so amazing! Danny the lead singer smiled and waved at me! One of the best nights of my life! If You have any ideas please dont hesitate to to tell me! I might add them in the story. You guys can also message me. I would love some fan fiction buddies! I cant believe I'm up to chapter 20 already! It feels like yesterday I was writing the first chapter :O this wouldn't have been possible without your love and support 3 xoxo I hope there are pleantly more chapters to come :)**

******All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Greys anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 20 – Guiding Light

Song – Future By Paramore

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked lying on the bed next to Derek.

"No." he said not looking at me.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked leaning up.

"No." he said running his hands through his hair.

"I don't like seeing you like this Derek." I said placing my hand on his chest.

"I don't like feeling like this." he said still in a mood.

"I love you." I said kissing him lightly on his hand.

"I love you too." he said turning to finally face me. "You and Charlotte are the only things that matter to me. If anything happened to you two..I don't know how I would continue living." he said as I was looking into his deep blue eyes. I hated seeing him like this.

"Everything is going to be okay." I said creasing his face with my hand.

"Promise me something." He said seriously.

"What is it Derek?" I asked concerned,

"That you will never cheat on me." he said looking into my eyes and holding my hand.

"Derek I promise I will never cheat on you." I said before kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Thank you." he said wrapping his arms around me.

"Lets go to sleep." I said truing the light off.

"Goodnight." he said still holding his hand in mine.

"Night." I said kidding his forehead.

* * *

I woke up to the birds chirping outside. I rolled over to find Derek s side of the bed empty. I moved my hand around urgently trying to find him. I slowly got up and started to search around my bedroom. I couldn't find him anywhere. "Derek." I called out. He wasn't in the bathroom. I walked into Charlotte's room. He wasn't in there either and neither was my daughter. I was beginning to panic. "Derek!" I called out more urgently.

"Meredith he is down here." I heard Izzie call from downstairs.

"I was worried!" I said walking down the stairs to find Derek lying on the carpet next to Charlotte, just watching her move around and giggle.

"I couldn't sleep." he said still laying down.

"I called you name." I said walking over to him annoyed.

"Sorry I couldn't hear. George has the radio playing." he said looking to the kitchen where George and Izzie were cooking and dancing in the kitchen.

"We seriously need to get our own house." I said lying down on the other side of Charlotte.

"She makes me feel better." he said as Charlotte squeezed her little hand around Derek's Finger.

"She has that effect. She gets it from her father." I said placing my hand on his cheek. He smiled and kissed my lips lightly in return.

"No about that house?" Derek said in a slightly better mood."It should be done in a year."

"Good. It wont be as noisy." I said giggling."

"I don't know with all kids running around." He said laughing. He was beginning to be in a much better mood.

I lightly slapped his arm. "You better watch it buddy." I said raising my eye brow.

"You guys will get a horrible back." George said entering the room.

"Who cares." I moaned back still a little tired.

"Don't come moaning to me when it starts to hurt. I'm not massaging for nobody." Izzie called from the kitchen.

"Hungry?" Derek asked smiling.

"Starving but I better feed this little princess first." I said slowing getting up and picking up Charlotte. "Derek did you dress her?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah why?" he said getting up and raising an eye brown.

"Pink tights with purple shorts and sneakers?' I said looking confused.

"I thought girls liked pink and purple?" he asked stunned.

"Since you are a guy I will give you some small fashion advise. Shorts with tights. A big no no. Pinks tights with a skirt, that's that's acceptable." I said placing Charlotte on my hip.

"So much to learn." he said winking at me.

"I will teach him Mer." Izzie said placing breakfast on the table.

"God help me!" Derek said sighing.

* * *

_4 weeks later..._

"What if something happens and I'm not there? What if shes sick and she needs me? What happens if she forgets me while I'm gone Derek." I said as were we standing in the hospitals daycare.

"Meredith you are a mother. These fears you are feeling are very common. She is in a hospital full of doctors she will be perfectly safe. She will never forget you, you are her mother she loves you!" Derek said as I was Holding Charlotte in my arms not ready to say goodbye.

"I don't know if I ready for this Derek." I said kissing her forehead.

"Dont worry. We will be back here in a few hours to see her again. Its good for her to see us work." Derek said hugging us both.

"I'm a horrible mother." I said sighing. I was leaving my daughter only two months old while I went to work.

"You are fantastic." Derek said kissing me on the cheek.

"You are just saying that!" I said still holding on to Charlotte.

"A horrible mother wouldn't be doing what you are doing right now." he said calming me down.

"I guess you are right.." I said looking into Charlotte's eyes.

"I always am." he said winking.

"Okay." I said taking in a deep breath.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready." I said giving Charlotte a big kiss goodbye and having Derek hold be by his said while we walked out of daycare. I felt tears begin to fall.

* * *

"Yes mummy missed you, yes she did. Yeah. Aren't you just the cutest baby in the world." I said while cuddling onto Charlotte for dare life. I just finished a 8 hour shift and I missed her every second!

"Give her to daddy!" Derek said holding out his hands. I slowly passed her over to him. He was such a great dad. I wished I had a dad like him. I would make sure we were both in Charlotte's life as much as possible. I will give her everything I didn't get. I would be there for her and so would Derek. Being a mother was more important than surgery. I just wished my mother had thought like that too. I'm so glad I'm not like her, and I'll never going to be. I will always put Charlotte first. A year ago this would have seemed so crazy. All I wanted to be was a surgeon more than anything. Now I loved being a mother more than anything. This is what brings me great joy. Charlotte has turned me from being a dark and twisty Meredith to a bright and shiny Meredith, and I'm going to try and keep it that way.

"I think I would like to walk around the hospital showing everyone just how beautiful my daughter is." Derek said turning and smiling at me.

"I'm sure Bailey would love to see her." I said smiling.

Derek had been in a good mood today. He hadn't seen Mark anywhere and that must mean he left or Derek scared him far, far away.

"Dr Grey." Bailey said as we approached her.

"Hey look Charlotte, this is Dr Bailey." I said lifting up her little hand to wave in Derek's arms.

"She a cute baby!" Bailey said in her not so Nartzy tone.

"We know!" Derek said proudly.

"Thank god she has your nose Grey." Bailey said playing with her tiny hands.

"What is wrong with my nose?" Derek said offended.

"Oh darn a trauma just came in." She said making a quick exit.

"What's wrong with my nose?" Derek said truing to face me.

"Nothing." I said making baby faces at Charlotte.

"Seriously is there something wrong with my nose?" He said panicking.

"Derek a nose is a nose." I said bluntly.

"Yeah but apparently you both have cute noses. What about mine." he said upset.

"We aren't having this conversation." I said starting to towards the elevator. Derek followed behind with Charlotte in his arms.

"Are you glad Charlotte has your nose?" He asked walking by my side. I just sighed and shook my head. The elevator binged and a women walked out with a shocked expression at us both.

"Derek?" she spoke looking curiously at us both back and forth. I was totally confused. Who the hell was this women and how did she know Derek. I hope she wasn't another ex wife.

"Nancy!" Derek said surprised. Who the hell is Nancy! I was so lost.

"Would you like to explain to be what the hell is going on here?" he asked kinda pissed.

"Meredith this is my sister Nancy." Derek said looking at my expressions.

"Well I have heard all about you. Addison was right she is a little young for you." She said rudely while looking me up and down.

"I would believe a word Addison says these days Nancy!" Derek said angry.

"So you move all the way to Seattle. Get involved with a sluttly mistress. Get the sluttly mistress pregnant. Then leave Addison. Get a divorce. And did I mention you are living in a trailer?" She said rudely. "Seriously what is going on with you!" She almost yelled.

"What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you!" Derek yelled at her. "I love Meredith! How dare you call her a sluttly mistress! I love he more than I ever did Addison. I love it here in Seattle, its peaceful. Calm. Unlike you! I love Our Daughter Charlotte her name is by the way. I have a family I'm Perfectly happy and you come here to judge me. I'm not living in a trailer any more I'm living with Meredith in a house till the one I'm building for us is ready!" he said steaming with anger. I was in shock. I never knew how strongly and protective he felt over us. Even to yell at his own family. It scared me. He was more committed then I knew. " Is that enough or do you need more information to report back to the other witches I call my sisters." he said looking her directly in the eyes. She didn't say anything. She was in shock. I think we all were. We've never seen Derek feel so strongly about something like this before. It was actually quiet a turn on.

"Well then." was all she could say. She had to much pride. "She cute." she said looking at Charlotte who amazingly stayed calm throughout the whole speech. "I know." Derek said holding Charlotte me protectively. Nancy turned and looked at me and then back at Derek again. "I heard about the little Mark incontinent." she said raising an eyebrow.

"Don't even mention him." Derek said bitterly.

"I'm sorry Derek, how are you going to expect me to react. Everything is so much different know." she said folding her arms.

"Yes, and that's the way I like it." Derek said proudly.

"You've changed." Nancy said slowly.

"I'm a father now." Derek said looking down at Charlotte.

"I see." she said looking at Charlotte.

I felt really awkward for not saying anything. Just sating there while Derek verbally abuses her. She hates me and I have no idea what to do about it.

"I will see you later then." she say before looking at us both again and walking off. I look at Derek and he looks back at me.

"I'm so sorry!" He said holding my hand.

"They always say the in-laws never get along." I said trying not to much such a big deal about the situation.

"She's just Nancy!" Derek said annoyed.

"Thanks." I said smiling at him.

"For what?" he asked confused as we rode up on the elevator.

"For standing up for me. No one has ever done that for be before." I said sadly turning to face him.

"Well it was about time someone did!" he said kissing me.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked this chapter I really enjoyed writing it! Please tell me what you like about this chapter and what I can improve on :D please Review xxxx**


	21. The Weight Of Us

**Here is chapter 21. Thanks for your reviews :) Please review more so I know what you guys want in this story. Do you want merder to have more kids? Marriage? Review and tell me!**

******All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Greys anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 21 – The Weight Of Us

Song – Way To The Future By Katie Herzig

* * *

"What do you think about the future?" Derek asked as he turned his head to face me on the pillow.

"What do you mean?" I asked a little stunned by the question. I was taken a little off guard. I didn't really think of the future. I just took day by day. The Future seemed scary.

"When you think about the future, what do you see?" he asked pulling a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I don't know. I see you, and I see Charlotte and that's all that matters. Right?" I asked looking at him.

"Right." He said smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked giggling.

"I love you." he said kissing me on the lips.

"I know that." I said laughing.

"You and our children are my future." He said smiling.

"Children? Like multiples?" I asked confused and frightened.

"Charlotte will need siblings." He said laughing.

"I...think we should go to work." I said getting out of bed.

"Urggg I don't want to!" Derek said rolling under the covers.

"Come on Derek! You cant avoid Mark and your sister forever." I said hitting him with the pillow.

"I can try." he said sighing. The baby monitor went off and I knew what that meant.

"Come on Charlotte is up." I said pulling the covers off him.

"Urggg fine!" He said slowly getting up.

"She probably needs a change too." I said as he exited the bedroom and headed to the nursery. As he went to change Charlotte and get her ready for day care I decided to take a shower. It felt so fresh and relaxing on my skins the droplets of water pored down on my face. I suddenly felt a pair of muscular hands being placed on my shoulders.

"Hummm...that's nice." I moaned.

"Don't mind me joining you?" He breathed into my ear in a husky voice.

"Don't mind at all." I said turning around to kiss him passionately.

"Mmm that's nice." He moaned out. I giggled.

"How about some hot shower sex..." He said grabbing my breasts.

"mmmm sounds delightful." I said moaning in pleasure. He quickly pushed me against the shower window kissing and discovering every part of my body.

* * *

"I wonder where you to have been?" Izzie said as we walked down the stairs together giggling.

"There is only one shower." Alex said winking. I blushed.

"Oh lala." Izzia said licking her spoon of whipped cream.

"Don't you guys have work." I said annoyed.

"Unfortunately." George sighed.

"Here is mommy Charlotte." Alex said passing Charlotte to me. I picked her up and kissed her little chubby cheeks. Derek laughed.

"Who wants a ride?" Izzie asked grabbing her coat.

"Me." George and Izzie said both in sync.

"Derek and I'll ride together." I said smiling.

"Sure thing." Izzie said winking as she shut the door.

"We really need to get our own place as soon as possible." Derek said kissing me on the cheek.

"Tell me about it." I said giggling.

"Ready to go?" he asked as I passed Charlotte into his arms.

"Ready as I'll ever be."I said sighing.

"Did your mom's nursing home call again?" Derek asked looking at me with concern. I nodded and grabbed the keys.

"Lets go then." He said holding out his hand. I placed my hand in his as we walked towards the car.

* * *

"Meredith!" I heard someone call my name.

"Mark?" I said confused as to why he was talking to me. I thought Derek had scared him off.

"You shouldn't be talking to me. Derek..." I said hesitating.

"He will forgive me. I'm his best friend." he said smirking.

"I'm not so sure any more." I said signing some charts.

"Could you say something to him for me then?" he asked. "I want to no if he's okay? You know...Happy." he said looking concerned.

"You slept with his ex wife Mark." I said looking at him.

"I didn't mean to. Its complicated." He said sighing.

"He was your best friend!" I said angrily.

"I know." he said depressed. "Just...Tell him I'm sorry okay." He said picking up his charts."

"I cant make any promises." I said raising my eye brow.

"You look lovely today. Did I tell you that?" He said flashing a brilliantly white smile.

"Flirting will get you no where." I yelled as he go on the elevator.

"Oh I most certainly disagree!" He said winking as the doors on the elevator closed.

"Stupid Mc Steamy!" I said under my breath.

"Stupid what?" Derek asked as he walked up to me. He took me by surprise.

"Oh, Nothing. Just...Mark." I said sighing. I felt sorry for Derek. Mark was everywhere and he wasn't planning on leaving any time soon. I saw the anger build on his face.

"Son of a bitch." Derek said under his breath. "Why the hell does he keep taking to you! I thought I fought him off. He always goes after my women." He said pissed off.

"Your women?" I ached questioning.

"Yeah! Addison. Now you." he said looking at me.

"I think someone is a little jealous." I said giggling.

"I don't get jealous." He said defensively.

"Yes you do!" I said passing the charts back to the nurse.

"What are you talking about?" he said annoyed.

"You are a very overprotective person Derek." I said walking along side with him as we headed towards the day care.

"How?" he asked clueless.

"You get annoyed every time a man even looks at me. You wont let me do anything that might be remotely dangerous. What if Charlotte gets a boyfriend?" I asked him.

"That's easy. She wont." he said while chewing on his gum.

"Oh, and you are so sure of that?" I asked raising my eye brow.

"Not till she's thirty anyway. No boys before then." Derek said looking at me.

"See! That's what I mean." I said pointing at him.

"I'm a dad Meredith. I'm always going to be over protective over Charlotte." he said smiling.

"Lets just hope she doesn't take after me then." I said laughing.

"God help us." Derek said chuckling.

"Huh." I said poking my tongue out at him. "Your sister is still here." I said changing the topic.

"Don't remind me." Derek said not wanting to deal with her right now.

"She is your sister." I said to him.

"I have four sisters." He said opening the front door of daycare.

"All I'm saying is invite her over for dinner. Then maybe she will go away." I said smiling as one of the staff member passed Charlotte over to me. I kissed he on the head and went to sit down on the bean bags with Derek. Charlotte layed in my arms. She was so perfect.

"Just play happy families and see if she will leave me alone?" Derek asked sitting down with us.

"I suppose so. If we do nothing she might never leave." I said playing with Charlotte tiny hands.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt. But if she calls you a dirty mistress one more time..." he said defensive.

"Yes dear." I said creasing his face with my hand.

"So invite her over for dinner and hopes she leaves then." Derek said falling into the bean bag. He was under a lot of stress lately.

"Its worth a shot." I said bouncing Charlotte on my knees.

"I'll call her then" Derek sighed taking out his phone.

* * *

"Ummm... the Chicken is good." Nancy said making conversation.

"Actually Izzie cooked." I said nervously

"Oh." she said as her face dropped with surprise. She probably thought I was a bad mother because I didn't know how to cook prop ley.

"How is everything back home?" Derek asked easing the tension.

"Its good. The practice is doing well. Addison is helping me get more clients." She said awkwardly.

"That's good." I said not sure of what to say.

"Yes." Derek said looking at me and nodding.

So... Charlotte?" Nancy asked as I took a slip of my wine.

"She great. Just starting to smile actually." I said proudly of my daughter.

"That's great." She said trying to smile.

"Yeah she already incredibly smart." Derek said to Nancy.

"Do you plan of getting married?" Nancy asked. I almost chocked on my food. I didn't really think of marriage. I didn't think I was ready for it. Derek and I had only been together for less than a year. It was little early to be thinking about that kind of stuff. I just had a baby. Now marriage. I don't know? A little too fast I think.

"We are thinking about it." Derek said to Nancy. I was shocked be his answer. 'We are thinking about it' What did that suppose to mean. We haven't even talked about marriage. Or was that what he was talking about when he brought up the Future thingy?

I gave Derek a 'your in trouble look' he just nodded. He had some explaining to do.

"Meredith?" Nancy asked noticing my absence response. The monitor suddenly went off. I was saved by a crying Charlotte.

"I'll Get Her." I quickly said leaving the table. Oh how was I going to survive the night?

* * *

**Hope you liked this Chapter. Next one will have more mark. Not quiet sure when to introduce Lexie? Any ideas about ANYTHING! be state in Your review! Thanks again xxx**


	22. Poison and Wine

******Sorry For such the late update! Been super busy with Musical (That's sadly over :( ) and work and those god awful assignments and exams. Today in biology I got to cut open a cows heart. I felt a little like Dr Yang being a cardo surgen :) Any way back to the story. Chapter 22 :) still cant believe how awesome you guys are! Keep at it ;)**

******All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Greys anatomy. I don't own the characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Song In My Head by Until June

Chapter 22 – Poison and Wine

"There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away."  
-Meredith Grey

* * *

"Shhhh Charlotte Honey." I said rocking her back and forth in my arms. I felt bad for leaving Derek with Nancy alone, but there again it was his sister. He knew her and didn't. Charlotte wasn't going back to sleep, and I couldn't stay up here forever. "Do you want to meet your aunt Charlotte?" I asked looking down at her. She wined back in response. "I know. I don't like her much either." I said kissing her on her head. I lifted her up so she was lying on my chest with her head over of shoulders. Maybe Charlotte would make things less awkward. I sure hoped so.

"Hey look who's up." Derek said smiling as he got out of his chair and reached his arms out for Charlotte.

"Yeah, She's not feeling sleepy quiet yet." I said passing her to Derek.

"She really does look like you Derek." Nancy said looking up at Charlotte.

"Yeah she does." I said looking at Derek holding Charlotte. It was perfection.

"How old is she?" Nancy asked.

"Almost three months now." I said proud.

"Wow she's growing up fast." She said slightly surprised.

"Well she's a Shepherd." Derek said laughing.

"Does anyone want some Desert?" I asked heading into the kitchen.

"Do you mind if I hold my niece." Nancy asked cautiously.

"Go ahead." I said looking at Derek. Derek slowly passed Charlotte to Nancy. She smiled as she held Charlotte in her arms.

"So desert?" I asked.

"Yes please" Derek smiled looking at his sister making baby faces at Charlotte.

* * *

_3 months later..._

"Derek can I please take this stupid blindfold off now?" I asked as he had his hands on my hips leading me in the right direction. "I'm going to trip." I said worried.

"And ruin the surprise. I think not." he said whispering into my ear.

"I'm getting cold!" I moaned. "Where the hell am I?" I asked slightly annoyed. How was this a romantic date. I wasn't enjoying this part.

"Okay here we are." Derek said slowly taking off my blindfold. I gasped for what I saw in front of me.

"Oh My God!" I said out loud in total shock.

"I know!" she yelled grinning.

"When?" I asked excited.

"Was Completely finished on Monday." he said wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You like?" he asked kissing me on the cheek.

"I love it!" I said turning around kissing him passionately on the lips.

"That's good because I have another surprise?" He said letting go of me and placing his hand in his pocket to get something out.

"Derek." I said nervously. What was the other surprise?

"Meredith." He said getting down on one knee. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I knew what he was going to do. His been hinting of getting married for months. But now. Why now? Was I ready? Was this really happening? Was I dreaming? My legs were telling me to run, but my heart told me to stay. He held out my hand and pulled the box out of his pocket. He opened the box and there it lay. A perfectly made diamond engagement ring. A gasp escaped my lips.

"Meredith I love you more than words can describe. I want to grow old with you and die when I'm 109 in your arms. I want to live in this house with you forever. I want to have children and grandchildren running around this house. To be slipping ice tea out of the porch when we're old and Grey. I love you and I always will. Will you marry me? He asked flashing his Mc Dreamy smile.

"Yes." I said before I even realised what I had just said. My answer took myself by surprise. I loved him. More than I would any other man. We already had a kid. Why not get married right?

"Yes." he said slipping the ring onto my finger before picking me up and spinning me around in joy.

"Now lets go and celebrate in our new bedroom." he whispered before kissing me deeply.

"Sounds perfect." I said laughing with Joy.

* * *

"Do you like the house?" Derek asked giving me breakfast in bed.

"I love it, You did an incredible job!" I said kissing him.

"I'm glad you like it." he said smiling at me.

"Charlotte is going to love her room." I said remembering the pink walls and unicorn patterned curtains with a tea party table and hundreds of soft toys.

"Lucky little princess." Derek laughed.

"Speaking of that princess, What time are we picking her up from Izzie?" I asked since I left her in charge of that house now.

"Eleven." Derek said taking a bite of my bacon he cooked for me.

"Quickie?" I asked him winking?

He smirked and pulled me under the covers. "Sounds like a great idea." he said moaning in my ear. I giggled in response.

* * *

_6 months later..._

"Aren't you excited! Your wedding day is in three days!" Izzie squealed.

"I just cant wait for it to be over and done with." I said sitting down on the couch after trying on my wedding dress for the one hundredth time.

"Still feeling a little queasy?" Izzie asked.

"Of course she is queasy. She looking at all this wedding crap." Cristina said throwing one of the magazines in the trash.

"Hey!" Izzie yelled at her.

"Charlotte's first Birthday is in two weeks and I have no idea what to do?" I said to Cristina.

"Princess tea party. She likes that sort of thing doesnt her?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah. But it's her first. It has to be special!" I said throwing my hands up in the air.

"Is not like she's going to remember." Cristina said eating some of Izzie's cookies she brought along.

"You don't look well." George said entering the room. "This house is so cool." George said excited.

"All this wedding stuff is starting to effect my health." I said taking a sip of water.

"Well you have three days to get better." Izzie said from the kitchen.

"Yeah don't remind me." I said placing a pillow over my face.

* * *

"Just think about it. This time next week we wont be interns any more. We will be residents. Higher up in the surgical food chain!" George said with enthusiasm as placed my hand on my back.

"Are you okay?" He asked noticing my pain.

"I just have a terrible back ache." I said stretching.

"That sucks." George said looking at the surgery board.

"Mc steamy twelve O'clock." Cristina said sprinting to my side.

"Who cares." George said looking at Cristina.

"Grey, Yang." Mark said coming in our direction. "And..." he said looking at George.

"O'Malley." He said annoyed that he couldnt remember his name.

"Right..." Mark said not caring.

"So Meredith I hear there is a wedding in two days..." Mark said hinting at something.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I said scribbling away at my chats.

"Don't lie, you know the nurses gossip spreads like there is no tomorrow." Mark said annoyed he wasn't invited to the wedding.

"Wow would you look at that." I said looking at my pager. Pitty." I said running away avoiding mark.

* * *

"Wow that was so... exciting." Cristina said after a six hour surgery. I let out a big yawn.

"Tired already?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah." I said stretching my arms out.

"You have been tired a lot lately. More than usual." she said as we walked to the locker room.

"I have a almost one hypoactive one year old and my back is killing me." I said opening my locker door.

"So...you have a sore back?" she asked pluzzled.

"Yes." I said nodding my head.

"Suck it up!" she said sarcastically.

"That's not funny Cristina. I've been feeling like i've been hit by a truck for the past week." I said yawning again.

"Okay Mc Winney. What are you symptoms?" she asked a little concerned.

"Seriously. You are going to play doctor on me?" I asked sitting down on the bench.

"Seriously!" She said standing in front of me.

"Fine then." I sighed.

"Okay lets start. What are your symptoms Ms Grey?" she asked sarcastically with a smile.

"Done smile is unnatural." I said looking at her face.

"Do you want me here or what?" she asked annoyed.

"Fine. I feel like I'm going to throw up every five minutes. My back hurts. I feel extremely tired all the time. Oh and don't forget my breasts hurt. I probably have Brest cancer and I'm going to die. Before I even get married." I said turning to face Cristina.

"Well...have you taken a pregnancy test?" she asked slowly.

"Why would I do that?" I asked confused.

"Because those are all symptoms and signs of pregnancy." she said placing her hand on my shoulder.

"That's ridiculous ! I cant be pregnant!" I said laughing.

"That's what you said last time." she said sighing.

"But I only just had my period last..." I suddenly stopped counting back the weeks. "Oh god!" I blurted out.

"I just got paged. Call me later when you find out for sure okay." she said quickly exiting the locker room. I Quickly grabbed my bag and headed to daycare. I couldn't deal with this right now. This could wait till tomorrow.

* * *

**I hope all you guys liked the chapter. Is Meredith pregnant again? Who knows? Review and tell me what I should do for the next chapter. REVIEW!**


	23. A Daydream Away

**Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I hope you are enjoying the story still. **

******All rights of this belongs to shonda rhimes and the show Greys anatomy. I don't own the******** characters I just enjoy writing about them.**

Chapter 23 – A Daydream Away

Song- Echo by Jason Walker

"So Izzie wants us to take ballroom classes for the wedding." Derek said as I entered the kitchen.

"She's kidding, right?' I responded shifting Charlotte on my hip.

"This is Izzie we are talking about remember." He said grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"I will talk to her." I said looking at Derek.

"Daddy." Charlotte said reaching her hands out for Derek. He responded by picking her up from my arms and swinging her around the room while she giggled.

"Its your fault if she doesn't sleep tonight." I said giving him the look.

"Yes dear." he said grinning his Mc Dreamy smile.

"Can you go give her a bath I just need to do something." I said kissing Charlotte on the cheek.

"Sure." he said smiling. "Ready?" he asked Charlotte.

"Ready." she said giggling. I just loved watching how adorable they were. I was so lucky to have them. Derek placed her on his hip and headed up the stairs. I sighed and headed towards our bedroom bathroom after taking out the small plastic bag from my handbag. I closed the door from behind me and took the box out of the plastic bag. He goes nothing I thought to myself. I didn't know why I was so nervous, it wasn't like it was a bad thing right?

Four minutes later I was sitting on the bathroom floor all nervous and frighten again. It scared me even more knowing that Derek was putting Charlotte to bed soon and that didn't give me much time to get ready. I took a deep breath and stood up slowly and steadily. I just stood there staring at the eight pregnancy tests in front of me. I froze when I pick them up and read the first one "Positive" it said. My heart began to flutter a hundred miles an hour. I pick up the second one urgently "Positive" It also read. I began to panic a little. I looked at all the other six they all read positive. I held them all in my hand and just stood there thinking just thinking. Why was I freaking out? I already had a child and she was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I was about to get married, everything seemed perfect, why not add another child into the equation? This was a good thing! I was lucky to be blessed with this I kept telling myself. Then it hit me. I wasn't afraid to have another child I was afraid of Derek not wanting another child. How would he respond? I know he loves Charlotte but we never discussed having more children right now. Maybe in the future, but right now? Its okay Meredith just relax and take a deep breath I kept telling myself. This Is all going to be okay! I said to myself.

Suddenly I heard a knock at the bathroom door. "Mer its Derek are you okay?" he asked from behind the Door.

"Not really." I responded nervously.

"What? are you okay?" he asked worried. "Can I come in?" he asked.

"Okay..." I said hesitating. I turned around as the door opened hoping the expressions and emotions on my face wouldn't frighten him.

"Meredith what's going on?" he asked walking into the bathroom. Nothing came out of my mouth. I couldn't speak. I just opened my hands revealing the pregnancy tests in my opened palm. He looked confused for a few seconds then it hit him.

"Meredith your pregnant." he said a smile forming on his face.

"Your glad?" I asked surprised by his action.

"We are going to have another baby why wouldn't I be happy." he said rushing over to hug me tightly.

"Yes we are." I said over his shoulder. I was so happy that he was happy. It was a joyful occasion. He bent his head down to kiss me passionately on the lips.

"I love you." he said looking into my eyes.

"I love you too." I said wrapping my hands around his neck.

Xxxx

I woke up to Derek kissing me on the lips. I really wanted some morning sex but I really needed to throw up stupid morning sickness. I pushed him away and ran into the bathroom. Derek was confused until he heard me throwing up and ducked into the bathroom to hold back my hair while I vomited.

"Stupid morning sickness." I muttered.

"Just take some deep breaths." he said holding back my hair.

After half an hour and numerous visits to the bathroom I finally felt like I could eat something.

"Here are some blueberry pancakes for my two favourite girls." Derek said placing the food into my plate and Charlotte's high chair.

"Looks yummy." I said digging into it straight away.

"Mommy hungry." Charlotte said while I ate if there was no tomorrow.

"Yes she is." Derek said grinning.

"Are you busy this afternoon?" I asked looking at Derek after I quickly finished my meal.

"I'm going to my Batchelor party tonight." He said wiping the whip cream off Charlotte's face.

"Well... the appointment is at three" I said getting up to get a glass of orange juice since I could no longer have coffee.

"Appointment?" he asked confused. "Ohhhh... the appointment." he said finally realising what it was. He couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"Are you ready?" I asked lifting Charlotte from her high chair.

"Almost." he said grabbing his coat from the hook.

"Ready to go and hang out with aunt Izzie?" I said to Charlotte.

"Yeah." she said squeezing her teddy bear.

"Do you have to try on your dress again?" Derek asked.

"Yeah." I said sighing at the thought. "Cant believe we are getting married tomorrow." I said slightly frightened.

"I cant believe it too." he said opening the front door.

"Do you think people will notice if I don't drink at the wedding?" I ask as we walked to the car.

"I don't think they will." Derek said smiling as he took Charlotte out of my arms and buckled her into her car seat. He shut the side door and opened my side so I could sit in the passengers seat.

"So are you going to tell me what our surprise honeymoon trip is?" I asked curious as we started to drive.

"You'll find out when we get there." he said winking.

"I hate surprises." I said making a face.

"You wont hate this one." He said teasing me.

Xxx

"Mer can you please stop eating and come had help me with these flowers." Izzie said as I almost ate an entire cheese cake.

"Sorry." I said walking over to sit at the kitchen table.

"Doesn't Derek feed you enough." She said joking.

"I'm just getting really hungry more often." I said taking a sip of my ice tea.

"Probably the nerves." she said looking at me.

"Yeah..." I said awkwardly taking another sip of my drink.

"Is your mom coming?" Izzie asked hesitating.

"No." I said sighing. "I went to go and see her yesterday and she had no idea who I was."

"Oh Mer I'm so sorry." Izzie said patting me on the back.

"Well what can you do." I said putting on a fake smile.

"What about your Dad? I don't hear you talk about him." She said bunching the flowers together.

"Haven't seen him since I was five." I said turning to face her reaction. She looked sad.

"I'm sorry Mer." She said looking at me

"I have Derek and Charlotte and that's all I need." I said looking over and smiling when I saw Derek laying next to Charlotte on the ground playing with her Teddy Bear.

"So about the flowers." She said changing the topic. I sighed and took another sip of my drink. This was going to be a long morning.

Xxx

"Do you think is was right to leave Charlotte with Izzie and George." I said nervously on own way to the appointment.

"She's almost one Mer she wouldn't understand anything at the moment." Derek said calming me down. "We will pick her up after. Everything is just going to be fine." He said kissing my hand.

We arrived at the hospital and I was already extremely nervous. I saw Cristina as we walked through the doors. She ran up to me and walked side my side with Derek and I.

"So the bun is in the oven." She said whispering.

"Affirmative." I said not seeking any unwanted attention.

"Got to go and scrub in for surgery, tell me about the pea in the pod later." she said walking down to OR 4.

"So code words are being used now." Derek said as we got onto the elevator.

"Yep." I said as the elevator binged. We walked up to the nurse at the OB station and signed in.

"Stop tapping your feet." Derek said as we waited nervously.

"Stop telling me to stop tapping my feet." I said getting more worried.

"Mrs Shepherd." I heard someone call out. Derek laughed. I was a little annoyed that people we already calling me Mrs Shepherd. I was still Ms Grey, Dr Grey to be in fact. I haven't decided if I wanted to change it yet anyway.

"Yes." Derek answered for me and helped me up seeing the expression on my face.

"Lets go Mrs Shepherd." He whispered in my ear as we walked into the exam room.

"Not funny." I said eyeing him.

"Ahh Meredith, didn't expect to see you here again so soon."Dr Rushmore said entering the room.

"Well here I am." I said laying nervously on the exam chair.

"Well lets get started then." she said placing the cold gel on my admen.

"So how are you feeling?" she asked moving the ultrasound stick around.

"Morning sickness, back ache and tired." I said nervously looking at Derek.

"Here we go." Dr Rushmore said beaming up with delight as she found the heartbeat.

"wow." Derek said looking on the monitor.

"Its so tiny." I said pointing to the foetus.

"About eight weeks along." Dr Rushmore said printing out a picture of the foetus.

"I will have to see you again in about four weeks. Here is something for the morning sickness." She said wiping off the gel and handing me the subscription.

"Thank you." Derek said with a huge grin on his face.

"Yes thank you." I said shaking her hand. She waved goodbye and exited the room with a smile.

"Wow we are having another baby." Derek said helping me get up.

"Yeah." I said excited.

**I hoped you liked that chapter :d The next one will be the wedding :D Please Review!**


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